The cobwebs of my mind . . .

Many Random Ruminations Related to What I Read. :}

2012-01-03T00:00:00.000-08:00

This post is a commentary on this article called The Death of Pretty. In order to appreciate this post you really need to read the article first. (and if desired, many of the following comments) This post is rather disjointed and may feel quite rambling and random. I suppose this is because after reading so many varying comments on the above article I had many varying thoughts. So, as much as I wish it were a concise essay, it is what it is and any reading this disclaimer are welcome to take or leave it as they so wish. :}

I found this article very interesting and my first impression was quite positive. I suppose that this is because as I read it I felt I understood the meaning and intent behind it.
However, I find it even more interesting how others who have read this same article have interpreted it so very differently. Obviously, this is based on our own perceptions, experiences, tastes and the personal definitions/connotations we apply to the words used therein.

When I read the first mention of how women were 'pretty' in days gone by I immediately visualized the type of female characters that one finds in Jane Austen novels. If anyone is familiar with those stories they may realize that the prettiness of these characters had very little to do with whether or not they dressed modestly (or were naive).
Having seen any movie adaptations of these books you would realize that pretty much every woman showed cleavage at least in the evening, and it had nothing to do with being fast or lose. Even the most respected duchess wore the same low necklines as the town whore. That was just what the fashions of the time dictated. (true, materials varied according to social affluence, but not the cut of a dress so much).

No, back then the distinction was entirely based upon how a women BEHAVED. How a lady carried herself and spoke was what defined as either a lady/gentleman's daughter or a 'guttersnipe'. (Even if she had no 'real' connections.)

So, after reading so many comments on this article where the commentators have jumped to the conclusion that this article was entirely about physical appearance and modesty in clothing I had to go back and re-read the article because that was not what I perceived at all.
No where does he actually say anything about dress and appearance, unless others are defining the words "pretty" and "Hot" as being only defined by looks.

I could be entirely wrong, but my own personal perception was that the author's main intention was to point out how differently women BEHAVE. Others who commented touched lightly on this, speaking of things such as dignity, self respect, etc . . . So perhaps 'innocent' was an unfortunate word choice to the understanding of some, but I am inclined to think that the illustration of a lady of the 1830's might be a clarify picture for some.

The heroine of Pride and Prejudice, Elizabeth Bennett, truly cared about being acceptable in society and following suit with the decorum that was defined at the time. This did not prevent her from being wise to the world, educated, interesting, clever or vibrant. What one knows does not define what one does. Her sister Lydia on the other hand was not at all decorous and instead came across as impolite, ignorant, naive and outright obnoxious.

So, regardless of dress and worldly knowledge, we all have the choice to consider others around us and act in a manner that is suitable. This does not mean that we have to let go of our individual style, or tastes. On the contrary, but acting like intelligent ladies, and carrying ourselves with dignity rather than following every trend laid out by pop culture, we can let not only our individuality shine, but others will also be made more aware of the beauty and depth within us because when they see that we take ourselves seriously, they will want to seriously listen to us.

Granted, modesty can effect how people perceive us, and I think everyone has made valid points on the topic, but I truly think that how you carry yourself and speak and act and treat other's speaks volumes about who you really are inside--whether you are beautiful inside as well as out. Even the example he used of the Sandy character from Grease (which a vast number of the commentators didn't like or find relevant) we see this point illustrated. Aside from how Olivia Newton John dresses in the early scenes as compared to the last scene in the movie, clothes are not the only thing that have changed.
Youtube the "Summer Nights" number and then compare it to the "Your The One That I Want" number and you'll notice that she also acts completely differently, her gestures, stances and expressions have all changed. So behavior is still a big part of whether we are perceived as "easy" or "respectable". The same clothing might not have looked so 'hot' if she had stood timidly or looked embarrassed or ashamed; aside from revealing more of herself, she was also acting sexy.

Although, as a woman who has tried many different styles and even costumes, I can attest to the fact that how you dress does affect how you feel which in turn can affect how you act.
I remember distinctly one decades themed dance I attended in high school in which I chose to dress as a sort of eighties punk rocker with lots of ripped denim. I was walking around with my friends and I realized that instead of walking I was "swaggering." Dressed as I was in clothes that were meant to illustrate rebellion subconsciously effected how I was carrying myself! At the time I thought it was kind of funny, but now that I'm older, looking back, I find it enlightening. It calls to mind how my mother used to tell me that we wear dresses to church because wearing a skirt helps us remember to sit and act like ladies.

I also feel compelled to point out that it is not rocket science to assume that most men want a woman to be feminine. It's what makes us different from men that makes us interesting and attractive to them.
If men want someone manly they probably aren't even looking at women anyway.
Though my point really is. that women should not be offended that men like us to accentuate those differences. (Accentuate, not flaunt.)

One big problem with society now is that often, neither men nor women really know what it is they want. (Of course, it's possible that no society has ever been without this problem, except that perhaps some of them didn't have the option to choose what they wanted, they got what they got and made it work.)
My husband, shortly after we became engaged shared with me that before he dated me he had always pursued more 'tough', 'feministic' and 'sporty' type girls. It wasn't until he met me, someone who had, from a very young age, decided that I was proud to be feminine that he realized that those other types of girls were not at all what he'd really wanted and couldn't have made him happy. Yet, for some reason he'd never realized it until he'd found me and saw the contrast. This also had nothing to do with how we dressed. The way these other girls dressed was not markedly different than I in terms of either style or modesty, the difference was in their physical and emotional attitudes.

I think it's also important to note that when my husband first saw me, he was not attracted to my 'type' physically, and so he didn't ask me out until about a year later and at the time we both thought we were going on a 'pity' date because I didn't think he was my 'type' either. Just goes to show that we often might think we know what we want but only God knows what we need.

In conclusion, I feel that the real issue behind all of this discussion is that there are a lot of people out there who are still trying to find themselves, and until they do they will not be able to find what it is that they want, be it defined as pretty, hot, beautiful or sexy.

Their were obviously a lot of people commenting who are extremely frustrated with the opposite sex and by their resentful remarks made it very clear that they are still single and have all but given up on finding someone to form a lasting relationship with. I feel for these people. I remember what it was like to feel frustrated with the dating game. However, as someone who has found the man God intended for me, I now see that the guys who appeared too cowardice or oblivious to appreciate my 'prettiness' were never meant to see it, or at least, if they saw it, they were never meant to act on it. Trusting that God has a plan for you is, all at once, the most satisfying and frustrating answer that anyone who is still looking for their soul-mate can receive, but it is hard to give a truer answer.

The real goal is for everyone to know themselves so that they might better be able to understand others. So many of us are discontent. Either because we see so many around us who we do not understand, or because we "still haven't found what [we're] looking for." The answers to these problems are never going to be found by looking outward to the world and other people. One must look inside oneself. One must work to improve oneself and seek be be the best possible version of oneself without reference to what our broken society defines as best.

Learning (observing, studying and experiencing) as much as we can is the seed, but it cannot grow unless we ponder upon what we know, and apply what we know; behaving in ways that we can be proud of, so that we don't have to justify our behavior to anyone else, or makes excuses to ourselves when the look in the mirror.
If you find that you constantly feel defensive, perhaps it is because you are not being true to who you really are inside. Perhaps the person making you feel attacked and inadequate is actually inside your head, and if that is the case, then your relationship with yourself is in need of some maintenance.

Of course, the very easiest way to know yourself is to ask for guidance from the one being who knows you even better than you know yourself, and who knows your needs. He will show you who you really are: A child of divine origin as well as potential. Knowing this we can come to recognize ourselves as we are. Being thankful for our strengths and talents while still being aware of our personal weakness; not with an overblown view on either count, but in a healthy confidence, knowing what we are easily capable of, and what we might need to work a bit harder at. Once we know this, all of life becomes easier and those around us subconsciously feel our self love which makes us so much more lovable. Ironically, when we seek love outside of ourselves, it forever eludes us. When we discover love within ourselves it surrounds us and, like a magnet, draws more love in from all sides.

Looks Like She's Crashed Again

2011-11-08T15:24:00.000-08:00

I just had to share this because I thought it was too cute not to . . .

So after Kate went down for a nap today Lily wanted to go outside. I said it would be okay if she stayed in the yard, and she decided she wanted to rake leaves. I was fine with that and got the rake out for her.

Her interest in that lasted all of about two minutes and she was back inside for her little watering can so she could water flowers. In the meantime I was trying to mix up some zucchini bread so it wasn't terribly inconvenient when she'd come and go from outside and ask me to refill her watering can multiple times because it was so small the water kept running out. I was right there by the sink so I just continued to fill it for her. Then she got bored with that I guess because she came in with muddy cold hands announcing that she had made a mud pie and now needed warm water for washing her hands.

I helped her get setup and then when her hands were clean she wanted a snack and decided on toast. She pulled one slice of bread out and gave it to me, instructing me to make her some toast.

I asked her if she wanted more than one piece and she said, "No, just one will be easier for me to digest." She is so funny sometimes!

Anyway, so I took a break from greasing my bread pans and made her some toast and she sat at the table and ate it while I finished greasing and flouring my pans. Just as I finished the last pan she asked for another piece of toast. I told her that this was the very reason I had asked her if she had wanted more because I thought she might, and I reminded her that she'd said one would be easier to digest. (All the while I was beginning to pour batter into the pans) She sat there quietly watching me for a moment, processing what I'd said I guess, and then said, "Well, just hurry up and get me another piece of toast!" I told her that wasn't a polite way to ask and turned back to pouring batter into my last pan. It only a mterr of seconds later that I finished, put the pans in the oven and turned to see that she had fallen asleep on the table, still holding out her plate.

Apparently the grumpiness had less to do with hunger and more to do with tiredness. It's been a while since she's crashed so hard like this (other than in the car). I just find is so funny because it happened so fast! She was just having a conversation with me and then *puff!* She's out like a light.

I love her sweet sleepy face. She didn't even wake up when I moved her too the couch. She is one tired girl.

I Platonically Love You!

2011-10-01T20:44:00.000-07:00

Isn't it just exquisitely delightful that we don't have to go through life by ourselves? I just feel so extremely glad that life is so deliciously full of people and things that make it rich and interesting and exciting!
When I think about the future lately, I just feel giddy with anticipation for all the excellence that lies ahead!
There are so many new things to learn, create and experience. So many new ways to grow, heal and improve myself!

More than anything though, I feel so incredibly blessed to be able to interact with certain people. Friends really do make you rich! I honestly am not the best at being friends. It's not that I'm rude or don't care about people. I just discovered at an early age that I do alright if I have to be alone. I always have so many ideas and plans and projects to do, I don't really have a chance to get lonely. I'm very easily distracted, and because of these things, I find that a lot of times, if someone is out of sight, they are out of mind.
So to the friends I have this means, I never call. I rarely strive to get together with old friends, and often if I do try the 'get togethers' so often, somehow, still don't happen. I personally don't mind if people don't call me or try to make plans with me, because to me, I think we all get it: That we're busy and have our own lives and our own concerns to think about.

Not that I don't ever think about people. I really do! I actually think I can get a little obsessive (by turns) about old friends sometimes. I'll find myself wondering about someone I knew way back when, because something will spark my memory, and I'll find myself wondering how they are doing. If I am able to find them on Facebook I tend to get way super excited and probably show more enthusiasm for them then they probably think necessary. I'll read and comment on their posts and pictures and overall show the interest in their well being that I really feel, all because the memories I have from the past make me feel that this was a person I really liked and probably under appreciated when I knew them.

Then after I while I sort of realize that as much as I want these people to be as happy as I am, a lot of times they are just living different life styles than me. We don't really have much in common and I really don't have any influence over how they live their lives. So I back off and let them do their thing. I have occasionally tried to share truths with them that I think would help them to be happier if they cared to apply them. Still, you can lead a horse to water, you can't make it drink, you know?

I guess I'm kind of thinking about this because of all the talks in conference today that encouraged us to use technology to help share the gospel. I actually have done so off and on. Still, as much as it would be awesome to see everyone I know gain their own relationship with God and come to be as happy as I am. The real goal for me is to see if I can bring them just one step closer to that. If they can achieve just a bit more happiness in life because of something I shared, that would be enough for me.

Anyway, that was a total tangent. I wasn't even going to write about that. I really want to write about having friends. Because the thing is, while Facebook, and social networking is all very well and good, it's really not quite the same as being social with friends in real life, face to face and in person. (redundant I know!)
I mean, its wonderful that I can see people's updates and know how they're doing. It's fun to be able to say 'Congratulations!' or 'Happy Birthday!' to so many so easily. I love it when someone needs something, or I need something and we can just put the word out there and help each other! That's so awesome! But when it comes to truly meaningful conversations, posts and chatting just aren't the same thing.

The reason I'm even writing about this is because I've been blessed a lot lately with some real friends. I've had some really intellectually and spiritually stimulating conversations lately, and I've rediscovered how fun it can be to get to know someone new again. For the first time in a long time I'm starting to feel like I belong somewhere, and I'd forgotten how nice that feels.

Of course, I'll always have Jake. He's my best friend beyond a doubt, but it's so nice to have new people to talk to. It's so refreshing to discover new kindred spirits.

I admit I've let myself get a little reclusive since I've been married, and I'm sure it didn't help that, for the first few years, we never stayed anywhere longer than a year. This is the longest we've ever lived anywhere. In fact, we've just passed our four year mark! I just feel so blessed and so happy that Heavenly Father led us here! I feel like he really knows me so well, and he loves me so much and anticipates my needs even before I realize I have them!

I wish everyone could feel as loved and as happy as I've been feeling these past few days! It makes my heart swell with joy till I almost feel like I could burst!

Anyway, I really am so glad to be where I am right now. I really don't want to go anywhere for a long while! I love my ward! I love my family, and I love my dear friends that have helped to make my life rich and fun! Even though I may not call you on the phone, or send thank you cards (that's another thing I tend to neglect.) or always say 'hi'. I really, truly am grateful for you!

Thank you my friends.

~Julie :}

Creating Your Personal Style

2011-05-26T15:39:00.000-07:00

I had th opportunity to teach a class for Activity Days last week on Creating Your Personal Style. I really enjoyed sharing some new ideas with the girls and I think they really enjoyed it as well. Because there is so much to be said about the topic I created an outline for them to take home because I knew there would be no way I could possibly share all I had to say in one hour. I have really enjoyed preparing for this and writing the outline I almost felt like I just need to go ahead and write a book. So, at the risk that you all might think I'm crazy, I thought perhaps I'd share my outline here and see what people think. I realize that the very first part is pretty vague if you're not familiar with those particular makeover establishments/books but I have all my resources listed at the bottom, or you can just ask me if you're curious to know more about either Thanks in advance.
~Julie :}

Creating Your Personal Style

There are a couple of things to consider first off when deciding what clothes to wear . . .

1. Color & Coloring:

-Beauty for All Seasons Theory-

Natural Hair, Eye Color & Face Shape
Warm VS Cool Colors
The Four Seasons
Personalized Color Palettes

2. Personality:

-Carol Tuttle Theories-

It's Just My Nature
The Four Types
Dressing Your Truth
Type Specific Color Cards

~Combining the best of both ideas~

While both of these theories are really great and could make a vast improvement in anyone's wardrobe, the first focuses on your natural coloring a disregards you true nature and personality, while the second focuses on your nature/personality and disregards your natural coloring. I want to suggest that by taking the time to explore and experiment that you can have the best of both worlds and create a personal style that is truly YOU-nique. (Ha, ha!)

~Styles, Trends and You~

“In matters of style, swim with the current; in matters of principle, stand like a rock.”

~ Thomas Jefferson

I really like this quote because I think it embodies how we can be 'in the world but not of the world'. As Latter-day saint girls, you have the challenge of both enjoying life, beauty and celebrating your own individual loveliness while at the same time standing up for what you believe and not letting the opinions of the world dictate everything you choose to do (or wear.) One thing to remember is that styles change over time and it is best to choose things that are a bit more classic and timeless because these items will last longer for you.

Trends are even more fleeting and often are not worth the investment at all because by the time you have caught on to the trend and finally decided you like it and want to buy it, the trend is most likely over or nearly over, and then you'll feel silly for trying it because everyone else has moved on to the next thing. If you really love something though, especially if you love it the moment you see it, there is no reason not to try and incorporate that into your style. Just remember that sometimes you'll love it on someone else, but find that when you try it, that it doesn't always love you back.

It is also important to note that something that is popular, but not quite up to your standards can usually be combined with something else or altered with sewing which will do two things;

Align it with your ideals of modesty.
Make it your own. (You might even start your own trend!)

No matter what, always remember and honor who you are. A royal daughter of God.

~Using Color~

Creating outfits, like any other art is somewhat subjective and depends on personal taste and the desired effect as well as what current fashion dictates, but here are some ideas and guidelines that might help you feel comfortable when using color in your ensembles.

The 'Pop' of Color: The idea here is to create a neutral base, like an all white dress, a gray suite, a beige coat, etc . . . and then add just one (possibly two) colors to it.¹ It can be bright bold or pastle, or even a multicolored item that will sort of be the center piece for the outfit.² You can even do this without using neutrals by creating a base of a single color and then adding just one complimentary or contrasting color to the mix.³

Different Hues/Matching Values (Color Block Style): Not everything must “match”. You can actually use a lot of different colors together as long as they are the same value/intensity. This helps to ensure that they will looked balanced next to each other and compliment each other well.⁴

Primary Colors: Using the primary colors, red, yellow and blue together can look really great! Keeping the intensity and value balanced still applies here.⁵

Complimentary Colors: On the color wheel each color has an opposite. A color which is found directly across the wheel. This is also called the compliment. They really do compliment each other so pairing these together can really look great.⁶ Just to make it easy I'll list the basic compliments here:

Red-Green
Blue-Orange
Yellow-Purple

Near Compliments: A surprisingly bold choice can be to use near compliments together. For example instead of pairing red and green (which might look a bit Christmas-y) you can pair red with a near green like teal or chartreuse. As long as you follow the rules of hue balance, such a combo can be both striking and lovely.⁷

Going Analogous: An analogous color scheme is when you use three or more colors together that are all next to each other on the color wheel. For Example: Blue, Teal and Green. Once again, try to keep them at the same intensity, if one is too bright, too muted, or too pale it can throw off the whole effect. ⁸ You can also use an analogous as a base and use a compliment or near compliment as your 'pop' of color.⁹

Pulling From Your Prints: When you have a great print it can be a lot of fun to accessorize it with solid colors that are found within the print. This may seem obvious but if you can truly find pieces that match well it can make the whole outfit feel cohesive and well put together. This can apply to any multi-colored print, whether it consists of two colors,¹⁰ three colors¹¹ or six.¹²

Whatever you do, it needs to look like you did it on purpose. It's your style, wear it with confidence!

~How to Shop~

When shopping for/choosing clothing, there are a few other things you need to consider. In the popular TV show What Not To Wear, in one episode they create an acronym to help a lady figure out how to shop. Their acronym was BASE.

Body - How it looks on you: Does it fit? Is it flattering? Is it Comfortable?

Appropriate - Is it age appropriate, and is it modest?

Situation - Where will you wear it and how often?

Expense - How much does it cost compared to how often you think you'll wear it? Cost per wear?

While these are really great things to remember I thought of a few more that are really important as well. To try and keep it simple I created another acronym to go with theirs. Mine is CLUE.

Care/Content - Does it have special washing instructions, will it be worth it? (Dry cleaning, etc.) AND what is the fiber content? Synthetics like rayon, nylon, polyester or spandex might feel soft to touch, but they don't breath well and you might find you get hot and sweaty (depending on when and how you wear the item) which in turn might stain your clothing and make it unwearable. %100 Cotton can breath but it most likely will shrink (unless it says pre-shrunk) and it wrinkles easily. A good, easy choice would be a polyester/cotton blend, no shrinkage, less wrinkly and it still breaths. Silk is lovely but very fragile and usually requires special care.

Love - Do you love it? No matter how well something fits all the requirements, the bottom line should be that you wear it because you love it. Never buy it if you aren't sure. One trick I use is to try it on in the dressing room, and either close my eyes or turn away from the mirror for a moment, clear my mind and then abruptly turn back to the mirror or open my eyes and try to see what other people might see if I walked into a room suddenly, wearing that. Pay attention to your feelings. If you feel excited and have positive good feelings when you see yourself in those clothes then you know you love it.

Unite - You also might want to consider how the item you're looking at is going to work with your other clothes. Sometimes I might buy a shirt that is a bit low cut thinking that I can just layer it with a tank top or something, but when I come home I find that I don't have a tank top that works with the new shirt. Or you might find a printed skirt you love and realize that your have no tops that match it. If you're replacing your whole wardrobe on purpose that might be okay, but a lot of times it makes more sense to try and match things to what you already have. I love the idea of knowing your best colors/styles so well that your whole wardrobe can be mixed and matched. I haven't quite achieved that yet, but I'm a lot closer to that ideal now that ever before.

Express – Going back to what we talked about earlier. Is the item you're considering really true to

you? Does the color look good on you? Does the style and or pattern fit with your personality? It's okay if you love a style that you can't wear. You can appreciate all styles of clothing without having to own and wear them all. Someday it might be fun for you to buy something you love as a gift for someone else who you think really would look good in that item and you can enjoy seeing it on that person and rejoice in knowing that you had a hand in pairing it with the right personality.

Using the guidelines of your BASE CLUE will really help make shopping a lot less confusing and a lot more satisfying and fun.

~Where to Shop~

Second Hand:

Remember that clothing does not have to be brand name or even brand new to be fabulous and fun. You can go shopping in your older sister's closet (with permission of course) you can get hand-me-downs from cousins, you can shop at the D.I., Kid-to-Kid or other second hand stores. You can shop at factory outlet stores or consignment shops.

There are a lot of options out there and though it can take some serious time, finding clothes can be like a treasure hunt and really can be fun and exciting. When buying second hand though, do remember to check the item carefully before purchasing. Be sure to check for:

Holes,
Ripped seams
Stained underarms/collar
Missing buttons/broken zippers
Lose threads
Other stains

The same goes when buying used online I. E. Ebay. Be sure to ask questions if you aren't sure of the qaulity)

Online:

You might also want to try shopping online. A good tool to have for this is a measuring tape. Most websites offer sizing charts which will very from store to store, but will list the measurements.

Also, reviews are a great tool. Read any reviews that you can before you buy something, just to be sure that you know as much as possible about what you're going to get. Sometimes sizes might run small, colors vary a lot from the picture, or material might be too thin and low quality. Others who have bought before you are often only to happy to share their experiences. The less chance you have of needing to return an item the less hassle it will be. Taking the time to research could save you the time of posting a return package later.

Another cool fact about some local stores that have online shops is that now you can choose to have an item shipped to the store where you can pick it up within 90 days. When you go in to get it you can check it out and if your are not satisfied you can leave it there and the store will return the item for you.

Be sure to check for clearance items on the website.

Also, You can usually find coupon codes that you can use when checking out, just Google “coupon code for (Stores name)”. If you really love a store you can get e-mail updates about sales and special offers by registering with the website. Most stores are on Facebook now as well.

Physical Stores:

I feel that the main advantage of a physical store is the option of trying something on in the dressing room. Even though it takes more time, it can really help you save time and money later. I can't tell you how many times I've an item I just loved on the hanger, but when I tried it on it suddenly changed and I would see that the color, fit, comfort or some other aspect just wasn't working for me.

It also can be hard to choose between two or three items when you're on a budget and I've found the easiest way to make a decision is to try them on and really be honest with yourself. It can make letting go of that lovely top a lot easier when you realize it doesn't fit you like you wanted it to. Also, sometimes the more expensive choice might turn out to be the least attractive one. Knowing this when you put it back can make you feel really good that you didn't splurge on something you would have never worn.

Transversely, sometimes the choice that you love best might be the one that costs more, but knowing that it really does work and you really will wear it a lot takes away any guilt or uncertainty you might have otherwise felt because you know it is worth the few extra dollars. Remember, quality over quantity. It is better to have a few really great items that you love to wear and feel beautiful and comfortable in than a whole closet full of mediocre ill-fitting clothes that you don't like wearing and despite their bulk make you feel like you have no clothes.

~Some Stores to Check out~

DownEast basics:

DownEast Basics (selections found in Seagull Book and Tape)
DownEast Home and Clothing Clearance Center
3505 West 3500 South
West Valley City, UT 84120
(801) 968-1872
http://www.downeastbasics.com/girls.aspx

Ebay:

http://clothing.shop.ebay.com/Childrens-Clothing-Shoes-/171146/i.html

Family Dollar: (They have great clothing and you can get other items there as well. Coupons in the mail or online.)

1638 S 500 WWoods Cross, UT 84010-7416
Monday - Sunday: 9:00 AM - 9:00 PM
Phone: 801-298-0649
http://www.familydollar.com

Kid-to-Kid:

273 West 500 South

Bountiful

(801) 397-0010

http://www.kidtokid.com/

The Children's Place:

The Children's Place Centerville Marketplace
126 North Frontage Road
Centerville, UT 84014 US
801-298-3991
The Children's Place OutletFactory Stores@ Park City
6699 North Landmark Drive
Park City, UT 84098 US
435-940-1808

http://www.childrensplace.com

VF Factory Outlet:

The Outlets @ Draper Towne
12101 S. Factory Outlet Dr.
Draper, UT 84020
(801) 572-6440

~Resources~

Websites:

http://www.beautyforallseasons.net/

http://www.style-makeover-hq.com/seasonal-color-analysis.html

http://myenergyprofile.com/

http://dressingyourtruth.com/

Books:

It's Just My Nature by Carol Tuttle

Dressing Your Truth by Carol Tuttle

Color Example Endnotes:

1 http://looklet.com/look/4230596 , http://looklet.com/look/4228202 , http://looklet.com/look/4229796 , http://looklet.com/look/4225583

2 http://looklet.com/look/11784292

3 http://looklet.com/look/4228202

4 http://looklet.com/look/4222626 , http://looklet.com/look/11822474

5 http://looklet.com/look/11784545 , http://looklet.com/look/11821991

6 http://looklet.com/look/4229796

7 http://looklet.com/look/11811234

8 http://looklet.com/look/11821684

9 http://looklet.com/look/11822781

10 http://looklet.com/look/4254324 , http://looklet.com/look/4524558

11 http://looklet.com/look/4251689

12 http://looklet.com/look/11758108 , http://looklet.com/look/4252420

On Mother's Day (New Poem)

2011-05-10T13:22:00.000-07:00

On Mother's Day

I know now from experience

A Mother's job is hard;

From making dinner every night,

to keeping up the yard.

And don't even get me started

On the trials of raising kids,

I'm amazed so many do it

Without flipping their lids!

And Mother's Day, it seems sometimes

Is something of a joke;

While in church your baby stabs you

With the headband she just broke.

And you're trying not to tear up

When the kids get up to do their thing,

Not because your own child

is smiling at you while they sing

No, your own child is not about

In that chorus of angelic expression,

For Daddy had to take her out

'Fore her screams caused an impression!

So Mother's Day I'm realizing

Is not at all for Mom's like me,

It's for the one's like you who've made it

Who's kids are what they ought to be.

We're celebrating Grandma's really,

Those who can now rest and enjoy

Feeling so glad the little dears

Have someone else they can employ,

Another home they can destroy,

Some other parent to annoy,

When they start begging for that toy!

Gasp! . . . . .

I said don't get me started . . .

I guess what I am really trying to say

Upon this (air quotes) 'Holiday,'

Is thank you for being what you are

And offering hope, though it be far.

If you can make such an adult

From such a rowdy girl or boy

Then maybe I can someday have

A Mother's Day that brings me joy!

Not for years of course, I know

But someday when I'm done.

With an example like you to follow

I'm sure this battle can be won.

I love you Mom, I always will

I hope your day's the best!

I hope you realize that we see

That with you we've been blessed!

by Julie Rebecca Thorup

I wrote this poem for my Mother-in-law and my Mom on Sunday after church.
Yes it is autobiographical.

It was a rather emotional day at first, but after writing this (a.k.a. venting) I felt a lot better and was able to laugh about it all. So even though it is rather cynical, (as Jake pointed out) I am glad I wrote it. Besides the point really, is to let my Mom's know that I really do appreciate what they went through for their kids, and that I "get it". I must confess I was a little worried about how the poem would come across, especially for my Mom. My Mother-in-Law really likes the poem Funny Funny Mother so I figured she would enjoy this poem as well since it's along the same lines. I was actually tearing up when I wrote it, especially at the end so I also figured it might make my Mother-in-Law cry, which it did. But it was a good cry, I think. I'm not sure if my own Mother cried or not because I didn't have the chance to watch her read it. Anyway, as hard as Mother's Day can be for those of us with young rambunctious kids, I'm glad we have it every year if only to let the seasoned Mother's know that we really do appreciate what they went through when we were the young rambunctious imps.

A Few Cute Storys and Videos!

2011-03-26T16:54:00.000-07:00

I haven't updated in forever, I know. A few weeks ago I was at my Relief Society Birthday Celebration activity and was talking with some ladies in the ward and we were talking about the funny things our kids say, and I wanted to share but I couldn't think of anything specific because I haven't been posting anything lately. It was sort of a wake up call that I need to keep doing that. Not because other people necessarily care, but because if I don't write it down or share it at least once, I usually forget it. I've also been meaning to share so many videos, I really need to catch up.

So, here is what I can remember happening most recently. We've been enjoying Phineas and Ferb a lot lately and on Monday morning while I was making breakfast for the girls I had the "Lindonna" song stuck in my head from watching it the day before. I kept singing the catch phrase over and over and then I started having fun changing the words and eventually I sang, "I am just your Momma and I wanna have fun!" to which Lilly promptly added in a sing-songy voice, "But you're too busyyyyyyy!" I had to laugh because it caught me off guard. I told her that even when I'm really busy I'm usually having fun. I'm not sure she believed me but it made me realize that I need to try to spend some more one-on-one time with her during Kate's naps. I have been really busy working for Jake as an independent contractor doing graphics for this one client of his.

Sine the preschool co-op was discontinued I've had a hard time remembering to do some kind of school for Lilly. Although this past week I've done a lot better and because of her fascination with words and spelling we've had a couple of days this week where I taught her how to spell some simple words. One of these days she learned all the 'at' words and also because she wanted to add them we learn 'hit' and 'hot' along with 'hat'. Then I made up a little story and drew some simple pictures and left all the 'at' words blank and we read it together and I helped her fill them in. When we were done filling in all the 'at' words I let her color the pictures. It was really fun. We also had a couple of days this week where we just colored in her coloring books together, which was surprisingly inspiring for me artistically and I've been working on my own art a lot this past week because of it.

Kate is now almost 16 months old. I can hardly believe it. She is so funny and adorable. I love that she likes to cuddle but that she'll also have fun just walking around the house babbling to herself. A couple of days ago I came down with a sudden sinus infection/headache and so I spent a lot of that day in bed. Jake was working from home so I was able to do this without worrying about the girls too much. At one point I could hear the girls playing in the next room. Kate was walking about babbling as usual, but then her babbling turned into singing. She has tried to sing before but usually it's just the same note over and over but this time she was really using different notes and holding them out to different lengths! It was the cutest thing in the world with her little voice!
Here's a funny little video of her from back in January, (27th to be precise).

I guess I haven't really talked about her vocabulary in a while (if ever). Right now she will say "Moe fooo!" (More food) and hold out bowl with both hands when she wants to have more of whatever she's been eating. It's so cute! It makes me think of Oliver every time, "Please sir, I want some more!" Lol. She also says "Num" a lot when she's eating but sometimes this can sound like "No." Which she also says. This can be confusing when I ask her if she wants something to eat because she'll usually say "Num!" and it sounds like 'no', so then I'll put the food back and she'll freak. I've had to learn to watch her face and body language and other sounds she makes to determine if she wants it or not. Also, 'num' is usually said really quick and staccato whereas 'no' is more drawn out, so noticing that distinction helps sometimes too.

This video was taken on February 1, 2011 after I shared some smoothie with her she was licking it off her tray and it looked so funny with her chubby cheeks I had to whip out the camera. The first word she says in the video is "Num." The audio at the end gets a bit out of sink, but she is so cute anyway, I couldn't cut the video short!

Another funny thing she does is she'll just randomly point and me and ask, "Mama?" with this look of anticipation on her face. I'm not sure if it's because she's making sure that's what I'm called or if she just wants my attention, but when I look at her and say, "Yes, I am your Mama." She gets this big grin on her face and giggles. It's so cute!

She also says 'Wow'! For example, yesterday she seemed to have a bit of a cold as well so before I put her down for her nap I set up the humidifier next to her bed so that the steam would blow on her but she wouldn't be able to touch the humidifier. When it started to steam, the light in the room was such that it was very visible and she just sat there in her bed trying to touch it and saying, "Wow!" and "Woah!" I just love her little voice!

Here is a video from February 19, 2011.

Oh, and yesterday Lilly was talking to me about possible themes for her fourth Birthday party and then she started crawling around and barking like a dog. She crawled up to me and said, "I'm pretending I'm a dog named Lilly." Then she began tell me all about how she wasn't a real dog, just pretending, and she had to crawl around a bark because "Dogs like to crawl around and bark." She was using her informative voice, and I just smiled and said, "Oh," and "I see." Then she finished with, "Yep. Well, I better get barking! Bye!" Then she crawled away. Lol! The way she talks sometimes is so funny!

To finish here's a little video of the girls from earlier this month. (March 8, 2011)

100 Blessings

2010-12-25T22:26:00.000-08:00

When 2009 ended, I was determined that 2010 would be better. Looking back now, I don't think it could have been more wonderful unless I had planned it. :)

The year did start out a bit rough . . . there were some losses and deaths and I had gotten so low by the end of the previous year . . . 2009 had left me in such a state that it took some time to pull myself back up to a healthy level and now I feel quite high in my overall outlook.

This year will be a milestone to look back upon for me. Not that the changes were very apparent to others I'm sure, since they were rather personal changes and shifted paradigms. . .

I suppose, however, that after changing so much inwardly some of it was bound to shine through in the outside . . . A few people have remarked o Jacob and I on various occasions that they have noticed the change.

I attribute it all to some great books I read this year that have guided me to a better understanding of myself, of others and of life. I have already highlighted and recommended these books online both on my blogs and on Facebook, so anyone curious may go back to find them. I will not name them here in case you are all tired of hearing about them.

Although, if books are too much trouble, I would recommend a DVD. “The Secret” was an incredible documentary which has summed up much of what I have discovered through my readings.

I am so blessed. I am so happy. I decided during November to start writing a list of 100 blessings that made 2010 a great year. Jacob helped me complete it, and though the items listed are not given in any particular order, and some may seem silly, or like and extension of a previous item, I enjoyed the exercise nonetheless. I would recommend writing such a list to anyone.

Here is my proof that I am so lucky. I sometimes feel sorry for everyone who is not me. :}

100 Blessings that Made 2010 a Great Year

for Me and My Family

Funny things Lilly says because laughing makes me feel like I'm healing from the inside out.
The faith of my husband in following his dreams and trusting in the Lord to keep us. He inspires me and is such a great provider and protector.
Amazing books that I have read this year that have literally changed my life and shifted my paradigms.
Friends and family members who share the truths they find with me which in turn enriches my life.
The Ardyss product that my sister introduced me to and the huge physical improvements I have experienced through having that kind of support.
Modern science and technologies that continue to make life better and easier for all so that we can focus less on survival and more on relationships and self improvement.
The Fly Lady who helped me discover the power of a Shiny Sink.
My discovery of Energy Profiling and Energy Healing. I am in control of my life and happiness.
Everything that I have learned this year that has helped me step up and up out of the depressions and confusions that I was experiencing when this year began. I look back and see the path that God carved out for me. Like a treasure map or finding my way home. I feel that I have arrived at something worth the journey.
Learning the Law of Attraction, and seeing it's truths all around me and in my past.
Getting to know myself better and learning to understand and love me.
Getting over old obsessions and beliefs that were holding me back. I am free to move on.
Every ray of sunshine that touched my skin this year. Yes, even the ones that burned me a bit. Jake is still excited to see that despite my own past experiences and belief I have the ability to tan after all, if only on my neck.
All the “Eureka”s and “Ah-ha” moments.
Water. Water for washing, water for cooking and drinking. Clean, wonderful, cleansing, delicious water. The nectar of the gods.
Truth. And the realization that truth will never contradict truth. All truth supports truth.
People who wanted my art enough to pay for it.
Wonderful clients who ordered costumes
The joy of creating something new, original and all my own.
The joy of sharing my ideas and creations.
Journals and blogs; of others because it makes me feel like I'm not alone, and my own because looking at my past posts helps me see where I am because I can clearly see where I have been. And sometimes they make me laugh, which is always good.
The constant support of gospel truth, that sustains me week to week and is always there to remind me of who I am, as long as I take the time to listen and remember.
The scriptures and the habit of reading them daily.
The joy of watching and listening as my babies grow and learn. The sound of baby giggles and even baby complaining brings a smile to my face that is deep enough to touch my heart.
A home to come home to and call my own, no matter the imperfections it may house. :p
Vitamin D
Protein Rich foods
Family who are close and always have doors open to welcome us.
Free meals and free food wherever it may turn up. Lol!
My Artist Critique Group
My New Colorful Clothes
Playlist.com which has allowed me to still have music in my life even after losing my external drive.
Doctor Laura
Dave Ramsey
Carol Tuttle
The Angle Tree
The Bishop's Storehouse
The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints
All the wonderful people who give my hubby work.
Brother's who came home safely from their missions this year.
Answered prayers.
Wonderful People in my Ward
Visiting Teachers
Funny Movies
Funny Books
Laughing
Aunts and Uncles and other more experienced parents who offer me support and advice as I venture out into new stages of parenting.
Facebook, for making it possible for me to build up relationships that would have otherwise gone neglected and dormant.
Dancing, even if it's only in my front room with my little girls and or my hubby.
A potty trained child.
A living prophet who leads and inspires.
A running vehicle that is completely paid for.
That Jake's office is within walking distance.
Faith
Charity
Every time I visited the Temple, even if it was only to help clean.
Books on CD that I have been able to share with my Hubby, and which have allowed me to share books with him that he otherwise would never bother to read.
Inspired artists and musicians everywhere who make life so much more enjoyable.
Trees
Flowers
Mountains
The Sky, especially as the sun rises ans sets.
Every time the neighborhood kitties decided to defecate in a location other than my garden.
The success of our yard sale
Friends who share their resources and offer their experience and advice to make my life easier.
The prospect that next year is clean and new and I can do anything that I want to with it.
Plans. Planning and carrying out plans is one thing I have learned that I revel in. It makes life exciting.
Small moments with my each member of my little family. Small beautiful moments where we share something . . . a song, a laugh, a conversation, a learning experience. . . .
Chocolate
Photographs which allow me to keep my memories bright and clear even years after the fact.
Chubby babies
A working dishwasher
A working Washer and Dryer
Fruit
Meat
Light
Hobbies
Angels
Computers
New dishes
Free furniture
A free and much nicer TV to replace our sad little $5 thrift store find.
Money
How cute our little tree was this year, and that none of the glass ornaments broke.
Child proof gate.
Communication
Poetry & Prose
Our Storage unit
Sales and coupons that helped us to save money
A sewing machine
Cell phones
The D.I.
New Shoes
Paint
Insulated curtains and double paned windows.
Baby wipes (Because they can clean almost anything.)
Our water filter which makes our water taste so much better.
Jake's manly muscles that helped him scrub all the lime off the tub and bathroom sink.
Salt and spices that make my cooking taste good

100. Nice hot showers.

Lilly's Serious Ponderings

2010-12-03T20:49:00.000-08:00

Today Lilly randomly said, "I don't like fire breathing dragons 'cause they burn me. . . I only like the kind of dragons with the long tongues."
So I asked, "You me Komodo Dragons? Like the kind that are big lizards not real dragons?"
And she said, "Yes, I don't like fire breathing dragons, I just like Komodo Dragons."
I guess it might not sound as funny when written out, but it just cracks me up how she'll randomly start talking to me like this in her very serious matter-of-fact voice.
Another time today day she suddenly asked me if we could get some more Colgate Total. I had no idea that she even knew any brand names. We are currently using Aquafresh, but the tube before that was Colgate. I asked her why she wanted Colgate and she said because it was just minty and not too colorful. (Our Aquafresh is striped.) Then she started re-hashing a Colgate Total commercial to me that she saw over a month ago. She was very serious in informing me that the lady and the man in the commercial showed that Colgate Total kills the germs from your teeth. She just amazes me like this all the time.Another funny thing with Lilly lately is she's latched on to this phrase; When she wants something to be full she says she needs it to 'the tippy-tippy-top.' I have no idea where she learned this phrase but it's so stinking cute every time she uses it that I have a hard time saying no to her. Even when she's trying to convince me that the tiny party hats I was making today in preparation for her sister's first birthday party should be hers; 'because every girl needs a party hat collection' and she needs them to fill her strawberry bag to the tippy-tippy-top.

Barack Obama has awakened a Sleeping Nation..take a few minutes to read this

2010-11-20T22:38:00.000-08:00

The article below was written by Gary Hubbell, a rancher, fishing guide and real estate agent, in Aspen Colorado of all places....Someone picked this up and began circulating it. To confirm its authenticity, someone emailed Gary and received the following reply:

Yes, indeed, I did write that. Thanks for your compliments.

Regards, Gary Hubbell,
Broker/Owner United Country Colorado Brokers Hotchkiss ,
CO 81419
office 970 988 2122
cell 970 921 5588
home 970 872 3323
office fax email: grandviewranch@gmail.com
www.uccoloradobrokers.com

EXCELLENT ARTICLE. NEVER EVER WOULD I HAVE THOUGHT THIS WOULD COME OUT OF ASPEN ,

ASPENWEEKLY/100229854/

Barack Obama has awakened a sleeping nation Gary Hubbell Aspen Times Weekly February 2010 Barack Obama is the best thing that has happened to America in the last 100 years. Truly, he is the savior of America 's future.

Despite the fact that he has some of the lowest approval ratings among recent presidents, history will see Barack Obama as the source of America 's resurrection. Barack Obama has plunged the country into levels of debt that we could not have previously imagined; his efforts to nationalize health care have been met with fierce resistance nationwide; TARP bailouts and stimulus spending have shown little positive effect on the national economy; unemployment is unacceptably high and looks to remain that way for most of a decade; legacy entitlement programs have ballooned to unsustainable levels, and there is a seething anger in the populace.

That's why Barack Obama is such a good thing for America . Here's why.

Obama is the symbol of a creeping liberalism that has infected our society like a cancer for the last 100 years. Just as Hitler is the face of fascism, Obama will go down in history as the face of unchecked liberalism. The cancer metastasized to the point where it could no longer be ignored.

Average Americans who have quietly gone about their lives, earning a paycheck, contributing to their favorite charities, going to high school football games on Friday night, spending their weekends at the beach or on hunting trips - they've gotten off the fence. They've woken up. There is a level of political activism in this country that we haven't seen since the American Revolution, and Barack Obama has been the catalyst that has sparked a restructuring of the American political and social consciousness.

Think of the crap we've slowly learned to tolerate over the past 50 years as liberalism sought to re-structure the America that was the symbol of freedom and liberty to all the people of the world. Immigration laws were ignored on the basis of compassion. Welfare policies encouraged irresponsibility, the fracturing of families, and a cycle of generations of dependency. Debt was regarded as a tonic to lubricate the economy. Our children left school having been taught that they are exceptional and special, while great numbers of them cannot perform basic functions of mathematics and literacy. Legislators decided that people could not be trusted to defend their own homes, and stripped citizens of their rights to own firearms. Productive members of society have been penalized with a heavy burden of taxes in order to support legions of do-nothings who loll around, reveling in their addictions, obesity, indolence, ignorance and "disabilities." Criminals have been arrested and re-arrested, coddled and set free to pillage the citizenry yet again. Lawyers routinely extort fortunes from doctors, contractors and business people with dubious torts.

We slowly learned to tolerate these outrages, shaking our heads in disbelief, and we went on with our lives.

But Barack Obama has ripped the lid off a seething cauldron of dissatisfaction and unrest.

A former Communist is given a paid government position in the White House as an advisor to the president. Auto companies are taken over by the government, and the auto workers' union - whose contracts are completely insupportable in any economic sense - is rewarded with a stake in the company. Government bails out Wall Street investment bankers and insurance companies, who pay their executives outrageous bonuses as thanks for the public support. Terrorists are read their Miranda rights and given free lawyers. And, despite overwhelming public disapproval, Barack Obama has pushed forward with a health care plan that would re-structure one-sixth of the American economy.

Literally millions of Americans have had enough. They're organizing, they're studying the Constitution and the Federalist Papers, they're reading history and case law, they're showing up at rallies and meetings, and a slew of conservative candidates are throwing their hats into the ring. Is there a revolution brewing? Yes, in the sense that there is a keen awareness that our priorities and sensibilities must be radically re-structured. Will it be a violent revolution? No. It will be done through the interpretation of the original document that has guided us for 220 "FANTASTIC" years--- the Constitution. Just as the pendulum swung to embrace political correctness and liberalism, there will be a backlash, a complete repudiation of a hundred years of nonsense. A hundred years from now, history will perceive the year 2010 as the time when America got back on the right track. And for that, we can thank Barack Hussein Obama.

Gary Hubbell is a hunter, rancher, and former hunting and fly-fishing guide. Gary works as a Colorado ranch real estate broker. He can be reached through his website, aspenranchrealestate.

IF YOU AGREE, SHARE THIS . IF YOU DON'T, DO NOTHING AND KEEP YOUR HEAD IN THE SAND.

Happy Halloween!

2010-10-31T15:36:00.001-07:00

This free greeting card made with Smilebox

Crap Glue

2010-10-19T21:36:00.000-07:00

Lilly has been watching a lot of craft and cooking shows On Demand lately. It's all because of Halloween. She totally is obsessed with watching Martha Stewart make Halloween treats and decorations. The other day we were driving somewhere and I noticed a house that was completely decked out for Halloween. Lilly loves to see people's Halloween decorations and usually notices them first. Then she will say, "Looks like people are getting ready for Halloween." It's so cute the way she says it. Anyway, so I see this majorly decorated house and I say, "Look, Lilly, it's a Halloween house!" The first thing she does is gasp in real surprise and then she says way excitedly, "It's Martha!" I laughed so hard! How many three year olds would have said that? How many three year olds even know who Martha Stewart is?

Anyway, so we've been watching Martha Stewart on Demand all month and I was started to get a bit tired of them since there really aren't that many and they're only 3-12 minute segments anyway, so I started searching around and have been finding some other craft and cooking videos with the Halloween theme for her to watch. It's pretty funny because now instead of asking for Martha Stewart, (or even Martha 'Spirit' as she was calling her until I set her straight.) she now says, "Mom, can I watch a Halloween video that's not Martha?"

Anyway, today we got on Activity TV and she watched a lady make a bunch of different costumes out of varying materials. Then later, I as was working on costumes myself, Lilly came and sat at my feet and began collecting the tiny fabric triangles that I had clipped from a curve and then she took them a little ways away and started pretending to make something out of them. I was only vaugely aware of her game until I suddenly realized that I kept hearing her say the word "crap". So finally I said, "Why do you keep saying 'crap'?" and she said,
"Because I'm making a crap. See, here's my little crap pieces and here's my crap glue."
Oh, my goodness! I was laughing so hard! I had to put my head down on my sewing machine table. It was so funny!
Of course, she wanted to know what was so funny and I tried to explain to her that the word she meant to say was "craft" not "crap" but a few minutes later, after I'd gone back to sewing I could here her saying it again.
It would have been funny even without her word mix-up though because she was totally talking just like the ladies on the shows she'd been watching; saying things like, "I'm going to add some extra crap glue to this part, just in case." Lol!
I love my Lilly!

Thorup Family Update

2010-09-04T20:33:00.000-07:00

Jake has been doing his own thing for a few of weeks now. He moved into a small office that is literally across the street from us at the beginning of August. It's so great! He can walk to and from work, come home for lunch and I can visit him easily if I want to.

The reason he felt an office would be necessary is because when he was working from home he would sometimes need to meet with clients so they could work out the editing process together and it wasn't very professional feeling when Kate would be crying or more importantly when Lilly was hanging all over the clients trying to get their attention. Most of them were really nice about it, but it made things kind of hard for Jake and he felt bad that it was so unprofessional.

He's been able to get this office for a couple hundred a month and since we have our van all paid off and sold the truck it seemed like we might be able to pull that off. (Especially because the first client who visited him his second day in the office has already paid the rent for this month.)
As long as he keeps getting work and we are careful with our money, we should be fine.
It is a tad scary to be going it on our own but we both have felt strongly that this was the right thing to do and he was already making more money from his side gigs than he was at his regular job, so now that he has even more time it really looks like it will pay off big time! Also, there are a couple of things coming up and either one might turn into more consistent work.

One of them is a talent/casting agency that is building a video based web page and is hoping to go national with the business, and if they get the funding or whatever Jacob will be the head of their video department. This will involve coordinating and organizing other videographers to make sure they have the right camera and are shooting with the right settings so all the videos will remain consistent.

The other thing is a TV documentary that he helped shoot, and if Kjazz picks it up, (and it looks like they might) we'll be shooting the rest of the episodes for the next few years or so and would involve traveling and all kinds of fun stuff. Honestly, we're both kind of hoping for this one. But either way, more consistent work is always good. Especially with winter coming.

I have also had a few of my won gigs recently and earned a bit of pin money to spend on various frivolities, like an organizing system for my closet and some new clothes for myself. :}

One of the things I was paid to do was to re-render a coat of Arms for a family that only had the coat of arms accurately, in a description from an old book, and some slightly in-accurate renderings of it made by a few people in the recent past. I did all kinds of research and learned a lot about heraldry, which I thoroughly enjoyed, and I also learned even more about illustrator as I wanted to render the image as a vector based image which would enable them to print it in infinite sizes. They have just updated their website to include my new design for the coat of arms on their coat of arms page which you can see here. You can see mine if you scroll down to the bottom of the page. On your way down you can see the older versions that I had as reference to work from.

I'd just post the image directly here, but sadly my hard drive recently failed, and though we may be able to recover the data it contained (Oh, please! Pray that we can!) We have to wait until we have the money to pay for a recovery . . . sigh . . .

Here's a funny conversation I had with Lilly today.

Lilly (speaking in her very matter-of-fact voice: "Well, I don't know where Dora is."

Me: "Who's Dora?"

Lilly: "Well, I need a friend who can sing to me in Spanish and English, so that's why I was thinking about Dora."

Me: "Oh, I see."

Lilly: "But I need a real Dora, not a pretend one. So I better build a robot Dora."

Me: "That sounds hard."

Lilly, "Well, how do you do it?"

Me: "I don't know, I don't know how to build a robot at all!"

Lilly: "Well I just need a robot of Dora and one of Boots."

Me: I think that would be pretty tricky."

Lilly: "Well, Daddy could do it. He can fix anything."

The following are a few more funny things from last month.

August 8, 2010

I need to teach Lilly about weights and measurements I guess because today she was playing with a measuring tape and she came up to me and said, "I'm going to see how tall you are, Mom." I said "Okay," and she held up a piece of it to me and then said in her scientific voice, "You weigh 15 temperatures." Then she went over to the filing cabinet and said, "This is 176 cents!"

August 2, 2010

Lilly "Fire Engines are fun . . . But if fire gets in the engine the car won't work. It will just burn up the batteries."

I also remembered another funny mispronunciation:

"Pouray!"= "Hooray!"

She also has a hard time with the word 'jewelry' I can understand why. What's funny is she often would call it "Julie" which I'm sure was confusing for her since she knows that's my name. We've actually been working on this one and this week she's been trying really hard to say the 'R'. It's so cute!

Katelyn still isn't cruising though she's very close. She is climbing as much as she can considering her height limitations, and it can be a bit scary sometimes since she loves to climb unto the couch and then sit with her back to the edge, barely not falling off. Who am I kidding? She HAS fallen off! Although, that's mainly by choice when she decided she wants to climb down from anywhere, even stairs, she always tries to go down head first. Crazy baby. What's even crazier is half the time she won't even cry despite how unpleasant the fall appears. I really have to keep my eye on her. She's starting to be super fast at crawling, she can be across the dining room and if she sees the fridge open she can be there in about 3 seconds flat! Or so it seems anyway.

She has four teeth now, and I think she's getting another because she's been really fussy lately, not sleeping well or eating much. Poor baby. In fact, she must have sensed me writing about her because she just woke up crying, so I'd better go.

Hope you all have/had a wonderful Labor Day weekend!

Life Changing . . .

2010-09-01T14:58:00.001-07:00

So far this year (2010) has been pretty good. (knock on wood.)
Lots of life improving things have come into my life within these past few months. Mostly in the form of great books. I went through a bit of postpartum depression after my baby was born last December and I really feel like one of the main things that helped me pull out of it was reading lots of good, and/or fun books.

Aside from all the fun one's like books by; Jessica Day George, Gail Carson Levine and of course the final Fablehaven (Brandom Mull), the new "Theif" book (Megan Whalen Turner), as well as listening to Harry Potter, and Spiderwick on CD . . . There are a few books that truly have been life changing.

Some life changing novels I've read include:

Tuesdays with Morrie, Mitch Albom

A great book to help one see life through a new perspective.

The Enchanted April, Elizabeth von Arnim

A beautiful book that might help you find the happiness that is hiding within you.

Now to some more self help style books that are truly life changing.

It's Just My Nature, Carol Tuttle

Discover the nature you were born with and learn how to be true to all your natural positive, in born talents. Also understand those around you better. Learn what element best represents you, and how to enhance it. Energy Profiling is amazing! Everyone in the world should read this book!

The 7-Day Back Pain Cure, Cannone Jesse

I'm all about alternative health care and finding out how to care for myself by working with and not against mother nature. So anything drug free is always interesting me me. This book has helped me understand why I have had so much pain and so many problems with my back for most of my life. It all makes so much sense, but the best part is all the natural, reasonable solutions that the author offers. I haven't had a chance to implement most of them yet, but I look forward to a pain free future!

Now for more visible, tangible life changes, I give you . . .

Creation Plan: A Seven Day Approach to Guilt Free Homemaking, Betty Meyers

This book makes every day tasks actually seem possible and helps this very disorganized person feel like organization is possible and even exciting!

So if any of you are looking for something good to read, here is a great list! Enjoy!

More Lillyisms

2010-08-09T09:47:00.000-07:00

"Cun-tar"= Guitar

"Vaaallance"=Allowance

Glubs = Gloves

Lover =Leopard

Tickity Tick Ball = Kickedy Kick Ball

Flarge = Large

Also, the other day she curled up into a ball on the couch with her blankets around her legs and yelled, "Look Mom! I rolled up like a hair ball!"

A Few More Mispronounciations I 'Benumbered' and "Ouch!"

2010-08-03T20:59:00.000-07:00

Here are a few more funny ways that Lilly says things that I recalled after my last post.

Remember = Benumber

Tissue = Twoshoe (It's so cute when she says, "Mama! I need a twoshoe!")

Except = Insact

Today she was so funny because she wrapped herself up in the drapes with just her head poking out and said, "Hey look at me Mama! I'm all wrapped up!"
I looked over and said, "Yes, you are all wrapped up!"
Then she laughed and said, "I look like a present! That's silly!" And giggled. She just cracks me up.

Later this evening she was sitting on the potty talking to me, and she started asking me all kinds of questions about anatomy like, "Mama, what do your legs do?" (hips, eyes, ect. ) Finally she said, "What about poly cubes?" I was like, "What?" And she would pronounce it for me nice and slow with exaggerated features. "po-lee-quoooobs!" I probably would have laughed but I was seriously trying to figure out what she was talking about. Since she had just asked me about eyes (And kept calling the pupil the purple in my eye.) I asked her if she meant something that was part of her eye, and she said, "No, poly cubes are in my nose. "Poly cubes are in your nose?" "Yeah." I was so lost, and since it didn't sound like anything she would have heard me say I asked Jake if he knew what she was talking about and he had no idea either. I came back to Lilly, and thought about what sounded like poly cubes in the nose and it suddenly came to me. Molecules! Lol! I don't know where she learned about molecules floating through the air and into her nose. I know she hasn't seen that episode of the Magic School Bus that taught me about smell molecules when I was a teenager. What really blows my mind is that she is freaking, three years old and she's having conversations like this! When I was three I'm sure it never occurred to me to wonder that much about microscopic parts of my body. I remember learning about germs, but that was the extent of my knowledge for many years to come. Craziness.

The only thing I can think of is that we got this DK book from the library a couple of weeks ago. She picked it out, it's called "Ouch!" and talks about all kinds of gruesome scientific things that ail people from bee stings to dreadful diseases. When she chose it, I knew it was just for the cover because it has a picture of a bee on someone's nose with the eyes big and crossed staring at it. I figured we'd take it home, I'd briefly teach her what germs really look like and she'd sense a lecture and be done with it. Boy was I wrong! It has been her favorite book ever since and both Jake and I have had to start refusing to read it to her for our own sanity. She is so fascinated by sickness and pain and nasty things. It could be a good thing though. The whole book is basically 3D renderings of what things look like close up, combined with actual microscopic photos. There is this page about pimples and the picture it this major close up of a pimple popping! So gross! But Lilly, when she was reading it with Jake the other day said, "Don't pop your pimples, that's not a good idea." (Which is what I told her I guess, though I'm not the best example of this.) So hey, maybe this will be a positive thing. I keep wondering if these are early signs that she will go into the medical field, but then again it's probably pretty typical of any kid to have a bit of morbid fascination with yucky/scary things. Right?

Anyway, back to the point. The book doesn't exactly talk about molecules in so many words, but maybe she and Jake got into a discussion about them while reading it. It's very possible with all the questions she asks lately.

Oh, yeah, one more story before I forget, she's done this before but she did it again today so I'm going to write it down before she stops. She wanted to go outside at one point and at the time was only wearing a t-shirt and panties so I told her she'd need to put on pants and socks and shoes before she could go outside. She went away for a minute and I kind of forgot until she came back into the room with her silky blanket (her lovey) wrapped about her legs and over her feet and said in this funny voice she does when she knows she's being silly. "Okay, Mama! I got some pants and shoes on!" She is so funny, and I guess I tell her that a lot because she's always doing things to try and be funny lately. Silly Lilly. :}

Funny Things I Want to Remember

2010-07-30T08:47:00.000-07:00

I know I have only been posting stuff about Lilly lately, so I'll try to round this one out with some other news. I just want to start with Lilly because there are so many things that I think are funny and I keep thinking I should write them down because someday they will change, and I will forget.

First off here's what Lilly said to Jake the other day. We were getting ready to leave, I said something about finding our sunglasses. Lilly looked at Jake and said, "Dad, I'm going to call you sunglasses." And he said, okay. And then she hugged his legs and said, "Aw, I love you, sunglasses!"

Now, those of you who know Lilly know that she's very talkative and is pretty easy to understand, but there are a handful of words that she mispronounces and has for a while, but I know one of these days she's going to figure them out, and though I'll be glad, I'll also miss the funny ways she used to talk too. There are already a few that she used to say funny, like when she used to call Pizza "Seppa". Which she hasn't done for over a year now. Anyway here are the current examples I can think of right now.

"Justa-peerd" = Disappeared

"Auf-got" = Forgot

"Keeled" = Healed (This one is kind of funny because she'll be talking about how her owie is healing and she'll say "It's all keeled up, Mom!" Which sounds a lot like killed. It get's my attention though.

There are also some simple things like saying "W" instead of "L" which is kind of funny because of her name. She'll say, "I'm not your daughter! I'm Wihw-weey!"

Another funny thing she says lately, if one us says to her, "You're cute!" or "You're so smart!" She'll always reply with, "And I'm funny too!"

I feel like I'm forgetting one . . . hopefully I'll remember.

Kate has been changing rapidly. I feel bad I haven't even posted about her in forever. I always just end up posting little things on Facebook as soon as they happen. So here's a break down.

June 11 Kate starts to army crawl.

June 18 Kate lifts her tummy up and is rocking back and forth.

July 16 Kate is hands and knees crawling.

July 25 Kate pulls herself up to stand for a few seconds.

July 29 Kate is standing longer and starts to take a step to the side before she falls.

Also, Jake and I have been watching for any teeth for a while, especially lately because Kate has had lots of signs of teething, not just drooling and a runny nose, but lots of fussiness at night, especially last weekend.
The beginning of this week, (I think it was Monday) Jake realized that she actually has cut two teeth. One on the top and one on the bottom. I actually didn't post about this on Facebook because I wasn't sure if they were were going to stay up or if they would recede, but it looks like this time they really have cut through. Craziness, everything happens at once. :}

I finally have finished the Brough Family Coat of Arms I was commissioned to do. I'll need to post that sometime, but I don't feel like it at the moment. They took it to Kinko's yesterday and are apparently having trouble with how the colors turned out. This is a bit frustrating because I'm not sure how I can choose colors that the printer will be able to match. I mean, I realize that what I'm seeing on my monitor will look different on someone else's screen, which is why I'm not sure what to do. I don't know much about printing, and I'm sure there are certain things I should be doing to ensure consistent color, I just don't know what they are.

Yes, yes I can.

2010-06-11T21:53:00.000-07:00

Today was an interesting day.
It was Jake's day off and so I was able to leave the girls home for a bit and run some errands. I actually took Lilly with me on my first trip because Jake wasn't feeling well and wanted to try to take a nap. I had just fed Kate, so I took Lilly and headed up to Layton's super Target because . . .

(Enter Tangent)
I've been eying these trim step shoes forever and a few weeks ago I earned a little extra money to spend on them, so I went to our Centerville Target only to find they were out of stock. I've been checking online every week since then and until today they have always been out of stock, but even though they had some today it said, 'limited availability.' Apparently every woman in Centerville and Bountiful wants these shoes. I noticed however, that they were available in Layton so I decided to just head up there and buy them. Oh, and just so I feel justified to all of you for my extravagance here is a photo of the old shoes they will be replacing. I realized at the end of last year that I've had these babies for over a decade. (That bit of purple you see is my sock peaking through.)
So yes, I put Lilly in the van and as we started out it occurred to me that every single time I've driven to Layton with her she falls asleep. Today was no exception, though we might blame the fact that it was almost 3pm (which is the time she used to take naps before she decided to start refusing them.) Or we could blame the fact that it started raining not long after we started and so there was incessant white noise there to lull her to sleep.

At any rate, I pulled up to Target only to look in my rear-view mirror and see her out cold.

I'm way excited about these new shoes since they are supposed to improve my posture. I can use all the help I can get with that one. And if they happen to tone my nether regions I will be a very happy woman.

Later that evening, I went to Costco . . .
There I was, unglamorously shopping at Costco; with frizzed out hair, floody jeans, stained sneakers, one-handedly wrestling a stubborn shopping cart through a puddled parking lot while the other hand is occupied with an umbrella and my ears are occupied with my ipod.
However, it is the later detail that transformed the whole experience for me though.
Strutting to the beat of the Gorillaz or the rhythm of Guns and Roses I can almost believe that those songs are about me. The soundtrack of my life. That I'm the Sweet Child 'O' Mine referred to in the song with hair that reminds you of 'a warm safe place' where you can hide while you 'wait for the thunder and the rain to quietly pass [you] by-eeeyigh!'
It occurred to me as I got into my van in perfect time with the final notes of song, that music really is as awesome as Dr. Laura says. I'm so glad I decided to take her advice and try listening to music when I'm having a bad day.

Music can make the difference between feeling picked on and feeling empowered.

Conversation While Snuggling Lilly Today

2010-06-08T13:15:00.000-07:00

Me: "You are mine!"
Lilly: "No, I'm not yours!"
Me: "Yes, you are mine! I made you! Just like the pictures you make and hang on your wall, I made you myself and you are mine because I made you! You are my masterpiece!"
Lilly: "I'm not a piece!"
Me: "Lol!"

More Lilly Quotes

2010-06-07T20:05:00.000-07:00

I know I posted this first one on facebook, but I decided I better put it here to for archival purposes.

On May 26, I was telling Lilly that ants sort of clean up after us and she said, "No, they would need tiny brooms."

Earlier today I was making Lilly a PB&J and was asking her what kind of jam she wanted. I told her we had strawberry, raspberry, peach and apricot. "And popcorn." She added. I was slightly amused and said, "There's no such thing as popcorn jam, that would be silly." She responded, "But apricots have popcorn!" I laughed and laughed. I guess I can't blame church since I taught her the Popcorn Popping on the Apricot Tree song first. Ha ha!

A Lovely Weekend

2010-06-01T12:40:00.000-07:00

Friday, May 28th was our Fifth year anniversary. Our friend Michelle was so sweet and watched the girls so we could go to Acapulco (Restaurant) for the evening.
For those who don't know we went to Acapulco, Mexico for our honeymoon so it seemed appropriate.
Saturday, Jake had to work but I had a bridal shower to go to anyway, it was fun to see my relatives and my cousin Grant's adorable wife-to-be.
After Jake got off work we decided to go to his parents to hang out for the evening since we hadn't seen them for a while. (While there, Kate enjoyed their bouncer)

Jake was wanting to get a hair cut and I mentioned that I needed to at least get a trim. We probably would have gone to great clips but Jake's Mom called their neighbor/family friend Becky, who came over and cut his hair for free. I guess while he was getting that done he mentioned that I had been wanting to get a cut too so Becky asked me if I wanted her to do it. I told her I at least needed a trim but then I started to think that maybe I should get something more fun. I've enjoyed my long hair for a while but lately it hasn't been looking as good to me, maybe because of postpartum shedding. Anyway, we didn't have any hair style books but I thought I'd just look up cute, currents hair cuts online to see if I could find any ideas. I found this picture.Becky agreed that she thought it was cute and would work well for my type of hair so we went for it.
Mine looks a bit different in these pictures I had Jake take, since I didn't have anything to style it with and get the texture like that.
We bought some stuff on the way home and I tried to get it like this on Sunday for Church but it didn't really work. I guess I just don't know how to do my hair in this style. Hopefully I'll figure it out. Anyway, Sunday evening we decided to drop by my parents house so I could loan my Dad and brother some Fablehaven books. (Jake gave me the first four of them for Mother's day.)
My sister April was there with her kids and my Mom was sweet and asked us to stay for dinner even though they hadn't expected to see us, so we enjoyed hanging out with all of them. Lilly really enjoyed seeing her cousins Shaun and Autumn.

Monday being Memorial Day, Jake had work off, which was lovely. We went down to Stockton to River Rock Camp that's owned by Jake's uncle. Most of his family were down their and had camped over the weekend, we went up to visit and have a barbecue. It was pretty fun, we practiced shooting at some targets. I tried a few different guns. I did okay with the 22 rifle and pistol, but anything bigger than that made me so nervous, I couldn't hit the targets. My brother-in-law Mark was shooting this huge Desert Eagle and just the shock wave from that made me jump every time no matter how I tried to brace myself, and I wasn't even shooting it. I felt silly, but I couldn't help it. I know now that I would never do well in a war on a real battlefield so hopefully I'll never have to be in one. I tried my Father-in-law's little concealed carry, but it was a 9 mm so even that was really hard for me to handle. I also tried another rifle that was also 9 mm I think, but it was so heavy, I really had a hard time holding it, and I know they were all worried I was going to shoot my toe off 'cause I kept forgetting the safety rules and pointing it at the ground. After a little bit they put the big guns away and brought the kids up the hill to the shooting range. Jake helped Lilly shoot the little 22 pistol. She was nervous to try it at first but Jake helped her hold it and after they hit a few targets she said she liked it. Jake is very adamant that we teach our kids about guns early on so they know all the rules of gun safety 'cause he says it's only when stuff is made mysterious that it becomes dangerous because then the kids will want to sneak and try using it when you're not there. So at 3 years old Lilly is learning about gun safety. Jake was probably about the same age when he first shot a gun as well. After a Lilly had a few more shots we decided to head back down the hill and see how soon lunch would be ready.
After lunch Jake and I went four wheeling a couple of times and he was able to shoot some video of the landscape and a nearby river that he needed for a short film he's been doing. It was a lot of fun.
Lilly had so much fun playing with her little girl cousins Deanna and Sammy. They all enjoyed getting four wheeler rides with their grandpa.
My Mother-in-law and Sister-in-law Ruth were so nice and watched Kate for us, while we were having fun. I'm glad I have such cute kids so that other people want to help take care of them every once in a while. :}
I haven't been four wheeling since Jake and I were newly weds so It's been almost five years. It was really a lot of fun! I used my little ipod nano to take some video and was imaging that it would look pretty cool but I forgot that my ipod videos don't handle jerky movements very well so most of it really doesn't look very good. Too bad. But it was still a lot of fun.

I thought this was really cute!

2010-05-19T15:25:00.001-07:00

What do you do with the crap?

2010-05-19T12:26:00.000-07:00

Today I was looking at the Smiths ad and noticed that frozen fish is only $9.99 this week when I just bought some last week for $11.99 so I promptly exclaimed, "Aw, crap!" Of course this caught Lilly's attention and she asked, "What does crap mean?" Not wanting to be confusing about literal meanings and expressions I said, "Sorry, I'm just disappointed about something." Hoping she'd drop it. But instead she said, "What do you do with the crap?" Lol! I had to laugh then, and then she asked, "What does pointy mean?"
"Disappointed means I feel sad about something that I wanted because I didn't get it." And then of course she changed the subject by putting her leg on my shoulder and telling me there was a beautiful list on her foot. . . ?
She's so random! Ha ha!

BABIES!

2010-05-14T14:22:00.000-07:00

Okay so probably everyone has already seen this trailer if not the movie, but I just love it so I'm going to post it here. I haven't seen the movie yet, but I really want to. Some of my friends on FB were talking about planning a girls day to go see it, but I'm not sure if or when that's going to happen. Jake says he's heard good things about it. I can't help laughing everytime I watch this. Enjoy!

The Art of Art

2010-05-12T20:17:00.000-07:00

I've been seriously trying to get back into drawing again. It's been a struggle to make time for it. But so far I've done pretty good recently, not every day but a few times a week I've managed to come up with some little sketches. . . Need to do more though and get better . . .

One of the sketches I did was a dinosaur and I kinda liked it so I decided to paint it in photoshop and then add it as a design in one of my cafepress shops.
It was kind of fun to paint and I tried making a custom photoshop brush for the first time.
I know, I haven't made my own brushes before? Whaaaa?!!!

My excuse is they never covered that in my photoshop class in college and, I must confess, I'm too lazy to read my photoshop manual. (It's still in it's plastic wrap.) So yeah, I found a tutorial online and went at it. I used a photo I had taken a couple years ago of water droplets on a spider web. So yeah, hence my brush ended up looking like bubbles. I think it turned out pretty well. Though I'm wondering if for the shirts and stuff, if maybe I need some sort of text to finish the design. I'm not really sure what it would say though. "Dinosaur" seems a bit obvious and "Aspiring Paleontologist" seems a bit cheesy. (Though I did put that in the description. :} )
So yeah, any ideas my readers have on what a dinosaur kids shirt should say, I'm totally open to ideas. Thanks!
~Julie :]

Some Favorite Lilly Quotes From the past 6 Months

2010-04-30T12:50:00.000-07:00

"Lilly: "This blanket is just right. I love that it has four corners!"

"This bag is just perfect; it has pointy teeth!"

Lilly to Me: "Mom! A peacock is a very important animal."

Me: "Oh, Really? What does a peacock do?"

Lilly: "It spreads out it's feathers really big!"

Lilly (this morning, eating breakfast): "Ah! a Spider!"

Jake: "Where?"

Lilly: "Right there!"

Jake: "Woah, it's a big one!"
"No just stay there, I'll take care of it."

Lilly: "Ooooookaaaay, but beeee caaaareful it doesn't bite ya!"

I know there are more but I can't think of them right now . . . I thought I'd better write these down before I forget them.

Kate's Cheeks

2010-04-26T18:00:00.001-07:00

Jake got a new little camera and he was running some tests using Kate. But of course I have to share because I love her cute face and want to kiss those cheeks!

Muslim translates Book of Mormon back to Egyptian and is converted

2010-04-17T13:11:00.000-07:00

--Reflections of Sami Hanna as recorded by Elder Russell M. Nelson, apostle for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

My neighbor, Sami Hanna, is a native Egyptian. He is an academic scholar who moved into
our neighborhood to accept an assignment with the university as a specialist in Middle
Eastern Studies and the Semitic group of languages such as Arabic, Abyssinian,
Hebrew, Aramaic, and Assyrian.

Being a newcomer into our community, he felt the Mormons were a bit of a curiosity. Upon learning the name Mormon came from our belief that the Book of Mormon is divine scripture, he was intrigued by the existence of the Book of Mormon. He had erroneously thought this was American literature. When he was told that the Book of Mormon was translated from the ancient Egyptian or modified Hebrew type of hieroglyphic into the English language by the prophet Joseph Smith, he became even more engrossed, for this was his native language and he knows much about the
other Semitic languages as well as the modern languages.

So challenged was he by this book that he embarked on the project of translating the
Book of Mormon from English to Arabic. This translation was different from other translators, for this was to be a translation back to the original language of the book. To make a long story short, the process of this translation became the process of his conversion; for he soon knew the Book of Mormon to be a divine document even though he knew virtually nothing of the organization of the Church or of its programs. His conversion came purely from the linguistics of the book which he found could not have been composed by an American, no matter how gifted.

Some of these observations I think will be of interest to you, as they were to me, for they clarify some of the unique aspects of the book.

1. Jarom 2: "It musts needs be..." This expression, odd and awkward in English,
is excellent Arabic grammar. Elsewhere in the book the use of the compound verbs "did eat", "did go", "did smile" again awkward and rarely used in English, are classical and
correct grammar in the Semitic languages.

2. Omni 18: "Zarahemla gave a genealogy of his fathers, according to his memory. Brother Hanna indicates that this is a typical custom of his Semitic forbearers
to recite their genealogy from memory.

3. Words of Mormon 17: Reference is made here as in other parts of the Book of Mormon, to the "stiffneckedness" of his people. Brother Hanna perceives that this word would be a very unusual word for an American youth, Joseph Smith, to use. An American would likely prefer an adjective such as stubborn or inflexible. But the custom in the Arabic language is to use just such a descriptive adjective. Stiffnecked is an adjective they use in describing an obstinate person.

4. Mosiah 11:8 "King Noah built many elegant and spacious buildings and ornamented them with fine work and precious things, including ziff." Have you ever wondered about the meaning of the word "ziff" referred to in this scripture? This word, although in the Book of Mormon, is not contained in dictionaries of the English language. Yet it translates freely back into the Arabic language, for ziff is a special kind of curved sword somewhat like a scimitar which is carried in a sheath and often used for ornamentation as well as for more practical purposes. The discovery of the word "ziff" in the
Book of Mormon really excited my neighbor, Brother Hanna.

5. Alma 63:11 Reference is made to Helaman, son of Helaman. Why did not Joseph Smith interpret this as Helaman, Jr., which would have been more logical for him, bearing the same name as his father, Joseph, and being named Joseph Smith, Jr. In Arabic , Brother Hanna explains, there is no word junior" to cover this circumstance. Their custom is to use the terminology Joseph, son of Joseph; Helaman, son of
Helaman, etc.

6. Helaman 1:3 Here reference is made to the contending for the judgment seat.
Brother Hanna observes that the use of the term "judgment seat" would be quite
strange to an American who might have used a more familiar noun such as governor, president, or ruler. Yet, in Arabic custom, the place of power rests in the
judgment seat and whoever occupies that seat, is the authority and power.
The authority goes with the seat and not with the office or the person. So, this, in the Semitic languages, connotes the meaning exactly.

7 Helaman 3:14 In this verse, there are a total of eighteen "ands." Reviewers of the Book of Mormon have, on occasion, been critical of the grammar in such a passage where the use of the word "and" seems so repetitious. Yet Brother Hanna explains that each of the "ands" in this verse is absolutely essential to the meaning, when this verse is expressed in Arabic, for the omission of any " and" would nullify the meaning words.

8. Helaman 3:18-19 Have you wondered why the Book of Mormon cites a numbering
system such as this? Do we say "forty and six, forty and seven, forty and eight?" No!
Joseph Smith's natural interpretation would; more appropriately have been forty-six,
forty-seven, forty-eight without the ands". Brother Hanna excitedly observes that
the use of "and" in forty and six" is precisely correct Arabic. Remember they number, as well as read, from right to left and recite their numbers with the "and" to separate the columns.

Well, I have just cited a few of these examples. There are many more! As
Latter-day Saint leaders, we are aware of the Semitic origin of the Book of Mormon. The fact that an Arabic scholar such as this sees a beautiful internal consistency in the Prophet Joseph Smith's translation of the book, is of great interest. The Prophet Joseph did not merely render an interpretation, but a word for word translation from the Egyptian type of hieroglyphic into the English language. Brother Hanna said the Book of Mormon simply flowed back into the Arabic language.

An Explanation for my Procrastination

2010-04-14T14:25:00.000-07:00

Today my college friend Victoria posted this on Facebook. She read it on a blog and I think they read it on a message board so I have no idea who originally wrote this. But I love it. This totally describes how I feel most days.

Child Activated Attention Deficit Disorder

This is how it manifests:

I decide to do the laundry. As I start toward the basement, I notice that there are cheerios all over the floor and my car keys are in the cereal bowl. I decide to pick up the cheerios before I do the laundry. I lay my car keys down on the counter, put the cheerios in the trash can under the counter, and notice that the trash can is full. So, I decide to take out the trash. But then I think, since I'm going to be near the mailbox when I take out the trash I may as well pay the bills first. I take my checkbook off the table, and see that there is only one check left, my extra checks are in my desk in the office/playroom, so I go to my desk where I find a sippy cup full of juice. I'm going to look for my checks, but first I decide I should put the sippy cup in the refrigerator to keep it cold. As I head toward the kitchen with the sippy cup a vase of flowers on the counter catches my eye - they need to be watered. I set the sippy cup on the counter, and I discover baby wipes that I've been searching for all morning. I decide I better put them back in the bathroom, but first I'm going to water the flowers. I set the wipes back down, fill a container with water and suddenly I spot the TV remote, one of the kids left it on the kitchen table. I realize that after school when they go to watch TV, I will be looking for the remote as they fight over who lost it, but I won't remember that it's on the kitchen table, so I decide to put it back in the den where it belongs, but first I'll water the flowers. I splash some water on the flowers, but most of it spills on the floor. So, I set the remote back down, get some paper towels and wipe up the spill. Then I head down the hall trying to remember what I was planning to do.

At the end of the day: the laundry isn't washed, the bills aren't paid, there is a warm cup of juice sitting on the counter, the flowers aren't watered, there is still only one check in my checkbook, I can't find the remote, I can't find the wipes, and I don't remember what I did with the car keys. When I try to figure out why nothing got done today, I'm really baffled because I know I was busy all day long, and I'm really tired. I realize this is a serious problem, and I'll try to get some help for it, but first I'll check my e-mail.

(or in my case...go read some blogs!)
-Stolen from a message board post I frequent.

So there you have it. I'm glad someone finally helped me diagnose my problem. This is type of disorder of my brain (and house) are the exact reason why I haven't posted in a while . . .

Can Life Get Any Better? I Submit That it Cannot!

2010-03-24T14:22:00.000-07:00

So March has been an anticipated month. First of all my hubby decided to combine my Valentines and Birthday presents and take me to see Brian Reagan. It was a lot of fun! My cheeks ached after it was over, but it was so worth it! Also, I'm super excited for the new Fablehaven book that just came out. I really don't have money to buy it, but I got on the library waiting list about a month ago and I'm currently number 267 out of 514. He, he . . . so yeah, I'm not sure exactly when I'll get a chance to read it, but I'm excited none the less.

The number one thing though, the main reason why I've been counting down the days till March? Well, it's happening tomorrow!!! My brother is coming home from his mission! Woot! I'm so freaking excited!

I have missed him SO MUCH!
(This was taken on Easter 2007 [yes I'm preggers in this picture.] We always had so much fun!)

In other news, my chronic headaches seem to finally be under control . . . I still get at least one a day but they aren't as bad and at least they aren't lasting all day long. I've actually gotten back into making dinner and housekeeping a bit. Let's hope it just gets better from here on out.

So Life 'Marches' On!

2010-03-01T00:00:00.000-08:00

I feel bad that I haven't posted sooner, it is sort of sad to leave a negative post up for so long, and I really felt better already while writing it. I've just been pondering on what I wrote and the responses I got for a long while now. I really appreciated all the comments that people were kind enough to give. I'm really surprised that so many people actually read it. Thanks for your patience with me. Looking back on all my worries I feel rather silly about it now.

In the end the things that helped me the most were:

1. getting back in the habit of reading my scriptures every day, (which I kind of forgot to do for a while after having my baby . . .)

2. Writing about my feelings on the blog in order to make more sense of them.

3. All the great comments and thoughts that you all shared and especially for the articles that my brother Eric (witteafval) posted. I also shared them with the lady I visit teach because I thought they might help her as well. It was really nice to read through everyone's thoughts on things and I feel so much better. A lot of what everyone wrote was stuff that I really already knew or should have known, but somehow (maybe post-baby brain had something to do with it.) I had forgotten. So thank you all so much!

So many people around me have apparently been questioning and re-evaluating life it seems. It's good to know I'm not alone and that events of the recent past have shaken more than just myself. It's been such a blessing to be able to read others thoughts and talk to people in person about a lot of different concepts and truths. It has all added up to me feeling a lot better about life and no longer afraid. It's amazing how Heavenly Father has helped me through this silly little struggle I was having. So many people without even knowing how they are helping me have said things and posted things online that have just seemed so pertinent to me. It brings tears to my eyes to realize that my Father in Heaven is so aware of me that he's sending me all these messages from so many directions, almost as if he's trying to give me an actual hug to comfort me, but rather than physically encircling me, he has surrounded me with others who love me and also enfolded me in the warmth of truth.

For example, my eldest sister, April, recently started a blog and she started her first post with a lovely quote by Marianne Williamson. (You can read it if you follow the link above.) Anyway, it is about fears and being afraid and such, I really liked it a lot. Here is what I originally commented after reading her post:
What a beautiful post! And what a lovely way to start your blog! I think I needed to hear that quote too. I guess we all do. Now and again we have to clear out the new fears that have formed like fungus in our marshy minds. Lol. How's that for an odd sounding metaphor?
Anyway, I've been dealing with fears again lately too and then after posting about some of them in my blog it helped me to see them for what they were, just silly fears. I thought I had learned that lesson years ago when I discovered 1st Timothy 1:7

"For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind."

Apparently I needed to relearn it though. Silly me for forgetting. Fear is a favorite chain of Satan's. Ooo, you have inspired me! I think I'll have to copy this comment to my own blog!

Anyway, I just want to thank everyone again for their support. It's really made me realize how blessed I am.

Now to count some of the more recent of my many blessings :}

1. In Matters of Money: We recently were able to sell the truck and change my cell phone service to a pay-as-you-go type thing so that I can still have a phone for emergencies when I'm away from home. We also got a very inexpensive home phone. Also, in the process of selling the truck we were able to pay off the van so we not only have cut gas and insurance payments down but we have no more car payments! Hooray!
I'm really excited about all of this because hopefully our financial situation will improve a lot and we can have savings again and stop living paycheck to paycheck. Also, because of Kate and a few other things we're getting an awesome tax return, so that should really help to put us in the black.

2. In Matters of Material Needs: We have had a lot of help this past year . . . I was able to get on W.I.C. and that has helped some though not as much as I had hoped honestly, mainly because the variety of food they offer seems a bit lacking. I like eggs, but we've had so many eggs in our fridge since signing up, it's been a bit ridiculous. But hey, it was free. Just before Christmas Jake decided to swallow some pride and accept some food from the Bishops storehouse. Holy Toledo! They give you a lot of food! We had to decline some of what they offered because it was just way too much! And even what we did accept was daunting to try put away when we got home. I've never had so much food storage! As silly as it sounds, I keep thinking to myself, "I know the Church is true because while W.I.C. stingily gives you eggs, beans and milk with the occasional small jar of peanut butter; the church gives you all of that and pretty much any kind of food you want PLUS they give you DIAPERS and even ICE CREAM!" Every time I ate some of that delectable ice cream, and every time I reach for a diaper I can't help thinking, "Yep, the Church is true." They ever offer Chocolate milk! If we're ever that poor again, I'm afraid I won't feel so bad about it. *Muah ha ha haaa!* Anyway, things are looking up, and we also have received quite a few diapers for Kate since she was born so we haven't had to purchase diapers at all since November!

3. In Social Matters. Jake and I are so lucky to both have such awesome families, and we're really enjoying the ward we are in right now. I've had a couple of really sweet sisters in the ward really reach out to me and be my friend and also just be angels with helping me when I was first recovering from having the baby. It's been so wonderful to have adult conversations with people my own age and older again. I must admit being released from primary has been a relief.

4. In Family Matters. Kate is such a beautiful baby and I'm so lucky to have her. Lilly has become a lot more helpful and mature these last couple of months. We've somehow mastered the art of 'counting' and though she still misbehaves I'm no longer breaking down into tears because I don't know what to do about it. We're finally seeing results and the other day I went shopping with the girls and I only had to chase Lilly down once. The rest of the time she was really good about staying with me. This is a vast improvement. Jacob has been so sweet and keeps telling me since I've had Kate that he feels even more in love with me. He has also been my hero, always coming to my aide when I'm dealing with a fussy Kate or a mischievous Lilly. He is such a good Daddy and handles the girls so well. He's also a champion burper. :} And though my neck pains and headaches have returned again this past month, he has been really sweet with his concern over me and if I'm taking care of myself. The best thing is that because laying on my pillow seems to aggravate my problem I started using Jake as my pillow this past week and I think it really helps, and he has been so sweet to allow me to literally use him; his shoulder, arm or chest every night for the past few nights. I really think that my pains have improved because of him. He he, so he's been offering me support in more ways than one. We're hoping we can find a good neck supporting pillow once our tax return comes in though.

5. In Matters of the Mind and Spirit. Since getting back into scripture reading and talking with others and all the things I've previously mentioned, I feel so loved by my Heavenly Father and have felt that my spirit has been healed within the past month. I also have had the opportunity to read some fun and interesting books this past month that one of my sisters-in-law recommended and it has been nice to get back into recreational reading again. I feel like my imagination has been healed as well.

I have so much to look forward to. I feel ashamed that I was dreading the rest of my life a little while ago. Living in fear is just like being chained to a wall. Thanks goodness I was able to recognize those chains and shake them off. "I live in calm, looking to the end."*

*~Helen Burns from Charlotte Brontë's Jane Eyre

Random Metaphor . . .

2010-02-27T09:49:00.000-08:00

So you know the saying that men are like microwaves and women are like crock pots?

I just thought of a new metaphor.

I'm always hearing women complain about how long it takes them to lose weight while their husbands who are dieting with them take very little time to see results . . .

So here's a metaphor I just thought of. For men, their weight is like a see-saw, they're either gaining it or losing it and it only takes a push in the right direction to change it.

Women are more like the earth in rotation, like in the first Superman when he makes time go backwards by reversing the rotation of the earth it had to slow down and then stop and then speed up in the other direction . . . Then when he stopped it started going in it's original direction again. So for women not only does it take longer to see results, but if they stop then they lose everything they just gained, or is it gain everything they just lost? :}

Be warned, this post is very cynical (and long)

2010-02-10T14:05:00.000-08:00

I've said it before and I'll say it again, 2009 was a crazy year. I must confess it left me feeling rather cynical for the year to come. It didn't help that this year started out with another death in the family. My aunt Susan, my Dad's oldest sister, lost her long fight with cancer in January. She was a really incredible woman and after reading her life stories and even an essay she wrote about when her two and a half year old came down with leukemia (and then died three years later) it just freaks me out. Not that I think she meant it to when she wrote about it. She had such amazing fortitude in her trials, though of course she had many "why me" moments, but who could blame her? She was about to have her next baby when she had to spend all these nights in the hospital with her little girl. I really can't imagine how hard that would be. Having been pregnant while having a two and a half year old at the end of this past year, I found her story uncomfortably close to home. I hope I don't ever have to go through that! I love my girls so much, I don't know how I'd handle it if one of them got a terminal illness.

So yes, as it is, I must confess that I have been extremely cynical about life of late. It seems to me that not only do bad things happen to good people, but that if you are good you're pretty much doomed to have a really hard life. Not that being bad makes life good or anything, I've just heard so much about how good people have bad things happen because they are good enough to be able to handle it or something. It makes me think that I shouldn't try too hard or I might end up with something tragic like losing a loved one or dying from cancer as well.

Then, ironically, last Sunday it seemed that the theme of the day through every lesson and meeting was that the righteous are blessed for their righteousness. So now I'm feeling a bit confused.

I know one thing to be true, but it seems that the other is true as well and they sort of contradict each other.

I'm sure it hasn't helped that one of the ladies I visit teach is has been through a lot in the past year. Her husband has gone to jail again, and she finally decided it was time to break off their marriage just before their 25 year anniversary. She was never able to have babies of her own so she decided to adopt and her son ended up going to jail a few times himself and is now on parole. He had been living with her jobless and unhelpful aged 22 years and finally this past month she told him that she wasn't going to support him anymore. She had to kick him out and luckily her out of state parents came to town to put bars on her windows so he can't break it. She also just lost her job.

So yeah, it's been really hard. When we come to see her she cries a lot and says again and again that she's not suicidal, but just the fact that she's bringing it up so much seems like a cry for help to me. The thing is, I really don't know what to say to her because I know she sees me as too young to know what I'm talking about. And she's right, I am very young still and I haven't been through anything even remotely close to what she's been through. She said the other night that she's kind of mad at the Church because all growing up in Young Womens they made her think that as long as she did what she was supposed to that she'd get married in the Temple and live happily ever after. She thinks that if she'd had a more realistic view on life that it wouldn't be so hard for her now. I sort of know what she means, but I think that I personally did have a more realistic view than that.

I think that not only should we try to do our best and be worthy to go to the temple, but also the decision to marry is a huge thing and should be taken very seriously. I prayed about my decision and I received an answer, though in truth I had my doubts about Jake at first, mainly because I didn't feel like I knew him well enough. So there are two parts, the first being that you try your best to do what's right and be close to God and recognize the spirit and the second part you have to take the answers you get sometimes and exercise the faith to follow through even when you don't understand. In my case I discovered after taking the leap that Jacob and I are so incredibly compatible that it really seems that we were made for each other.

The thing is, I have no idea what this woman's situation is. Maybe she did pray really hard about her decision to marry this man. Maybe she really was supposed to marry him. He does have his own agency and maybe if he'd just made better decisions than her life would be different. Or maybe she's supposed to be going through all these trials for a reason. It's just hard to say. I'm just having a hard time because I feel like, because I am so young and life has been so good that I'm in for a big nasty trial here in the future. I don't know. I'm just feeling kind of confused and pessimistic right now.

Also, I think that not too long ago I watched some BYU devotional on TV and the speaker was talking about how to become truly like Christ and to do our best in this life we have to face certain trials so that we can be better and that the rewards to being righteous are most likely to be in the next life only. I don't know about you, but that doesn't make me very excited for the near future. And then of course there's all the shows that Jake's always watching on the history channel and such that talk about how the end of the world is going to be. Not fun. Then the other day Jake was speculating the possibility that if we're going to become like Christ in the afterlife that maybe we'll each have to go to an earth to be crucified like he was as part of our progression. So yeah, for me it all seems like too much for my poor weak mind to handle right now. I just don't know what to think because on the one hand a lot of people have really good lives and are blessed and protected because they are righteous and then there are people like Job who lose and suffer just about as much as is possible and they're just as righteous . . . so what's the deal? If both concepts are true than how does God decide who gets the short end of the stick? Okay, maybe that sounds like "Blasphemous Rumors" or something, but like I said, I'm just feeling really lost right now.

On Sunday when all the focus was on the blessings we receive for being righteous I felt like Heavenly Father was trying to help me feel better, but I'm still wondering about all this other stuff. I mean, maybe I have nothing to worry about, maybe I'll always have a relatively easy life. But if I did, why would I deserve that more than someone who's fighting cancer or has lost a baby or something? It just makes me feel bad either way. Man! I need serious help here or something!

Kate is Getting Chubby

2010-01-18T12:24:00.000-08:00

I have a lot of catching up to do, but not a lot of time at the moment. I'm going to my 6 week appointment today so I'll post later about how that went. Just wanted to show off my baby!

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year (Here's Hoping)

2009-12-30T22:19:00.001-08:00

We managed to take some family pictures about a week after Kate was born and despite some technical issues we had with the lights I think they turned out all right, though Lilly looks like she's plotting something evil in this first one here. (Heh, she probably is.) Anyway, I thought about writing a big long entry but I decided to be lazy and just put my Christmas letter in here instead. Enjoy! Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

Katelyn Arianna Thorup

2009-12-19T00:42:00.000-08:00

Okay, here she is!Tada!
Katelyn Arianna Thorup born December 5, 2009 at 4:31 AM weighing 7 lbs 8 oz and measuring 20.5 inches long. A healthy rosy baby girl!

This picture was actually taken on December 12, 2009 so she's a week old here, and already filling out from drinking her milk all day long. :}

Here's the complete story:
So I'd been having sporadic birthing waves every night for quite a few days but on Friday night (Dec 4) they seemed especially strong. At around 10 or 11pm they were very strong and consistently coming 20 minutes apart no matter what I did. Then I started spotting, so I decided to call my midwife. She asked me where I was feeling them and I admitted it was mostly in my back and so she said the baby's head was in the wrong position and I'd need to try and turn her. Otherwise all the waves would be for nothing and I wouldn't dilate until the baby was engaged in the correct position. So I got to do the "Polar Bear" position as she called it, for half an hour. She said after that I should be feeling them more in the front. But after half an hour it was still in my back so I went to the bathroom and then did it for another hour (off and on, with trips to the loo) until they finally seemed like they were more in the front. After that they were consistently 10 minutes apart so we called the midwife again. At this point it was after 1 AM I think, and she told me to try and get some rest and call her if they got 5 minutes or closer. But yeah, trying to sleep through those waves when they were consistently 10 minutes apart was a joke because that was just enough time for me to almost drift off in between and then they would wake me up again. Finally they went from 7 to 5 to 3 minutes apart, I think that was when we called the midwife again. Honestly, it's a bit fuzzy for me. I might need Jake to read this to help me with the details. Anyway, at that point we got up and Jake started getting the pool ready while I knelt down in the conversation pit with my head on the bench and tried to "peace out" my waves.
I was pretty annoyed with Jake when he took this picture. Highly unflattering I know. I was just starting to feel pushy at this point. This was about half an hour before the midwife and her birthing assistant arrived and an hour before Kate came.

Yes, I had a water birth. Pretty cool actually. I'd always thought they sounded cool since hearing about them as a teenager, but I never thought I get a chance to try it. Honestly, I don't know why you would do it any other way, now that I've tried it. I mean, if you're going to do it natural, don't be laying on your back in a bed. That just doesn't make any sense.
The midwife provided the pool as part of the whole birthing package. It's pretty deep and it's nice that it's round so there are no sharp edges. They cover it entirely with a sterile cover and fill it from the sink with a sterile hose. It took all the hot water our heater had and then they boiled some on the stove. A few minutes before the birth it was ready. I had already been feeling pushy for about an hour. They helped me get in and it was such a huge relief. The warm water felt just awesome. Then another couple or few waves later she was born.
They pumped the pool up really firm so I could lean on the edge so that's what I would do was kneel by the edge holding onto the side while pushing. When she came out Jake caught her and then they had me sit back while they pulled her under my legs and up into my arms. It was nice to sit there in the water and hold her and look at her beautiful face.

One thing I really liked about this experience as opposed to last time was that they totally didn't make me feel rushed or pressured. I mean, obviously about 5 hours of birthing as opposed to 13 hours is not that big of a deal. But right before I got in the pool I mentioned that my water hadn't broken yet and I asked if that was a problem and my midwife simply said cheerfully, "It will." Her confidence was so refreshing because with Lilly they decided I wasn't progressing fast enough and so they decided to break my water. In this case my water didn't break until right before she crowned. It actually felt kind of cool, like this bubble of relief bursting. everything just seemed a lot more vivid this time. Of course I was way more tired with Lilly having had no sleep for about 30 hours or so.

I don't remember feeling Lilly crowning, I just remember them helping me put my hand down to feel her and I honestly couldn't distinguish her hair from mine. Sorry if that's TMI. Whan Kate crowned I definitely felt it, and when they asked if I wanted to feel her I said 'no' and kept pushing. I wanted to hold her already! I wanted to see her! Those last few moments seemed to take forever, though in reality it was probably only a minute or three. My midwife later told me that I did a good job pushing her out nice and slow, which seemed funny to me because I was trying as hard as I good to get her out as quickly as I could. I remembered feeling Lilly's head come out and then the rest of her just wooshed out really fast after that. I'm wondering now if the midwife or nurse actually pulled her out for me. Hmmm. . . .

Because for some reason I was expecting to feel that same thing this time and after Kate's head came out I could hear them saying something like, "K, now just one more push and her body should come." Or something like that, and I was thinking? What? I'm not done yet?" But I kept pushing of course and then I totally felt her foot catch right at the end for just a second and then they were telling me that I should sit back and they would pull her up between my legs at the same time. My eyes were closed through most of this until I sat back I think, which is why I'm focusing so much on what I was thinking and feeling. Finally though, I opened my eyes to seeing them put my baby in my arms. I looked at Jake and said, "I did it!" What a relief and a feeling of accomplishment that was! Then I said, "She's beautiful, just like in my dream!" Then I looked at her and said. "She looks like my Dad!" Jake laughed and said, "Poor kid." but then he said "Yeah she does, but cute." He he, sorry Dad. :}

She was still covered in a lot of that waxy stuff being a bit earlier than 40 weeks. (a couple days short of 39 actually) so that was different, Lilly really didn't have that. After a moment I tried to nurse her and she latched right on. Smart girl. :}

Then the afterbirth started. (and the drama!) I remember my midwife pulling on my cord a bit as I told her I was feeling crampy and then started to push again. I wonder now if that's why it didn't come out cleanly. If I had known to say something beforehand I would have asked her not to touch it. Anyway, it didn't come out cleanly and I started to hemorage. They gave the baby wrapped in blankets (and placenta in a ziplock baggy) to Jake to hold. Then they pulled me out of the pool onto my back onto some blankets. They said they didn't want me to try and stand. Then they dragged me with the blankets to the bedroom. At that point I was feeling like I couldn't breath so they put me on oxygen. I only had that for a few minutes though because after a bit it was making me feel clostrophobic. They also decided that I needed an IV because I was losing so much blood. The problem was the IV had been out in the cold or something because it hurt like crazy to have icy cold liquid coursing through my veins. That was worse than anything honestly. My midwife put my arm on a heating pad and massaged my screaming muscles and that helped a lot. At some point I mentioned that I'd had the same problem with my afterbirth after Lilly was born and my midwife told me that I might just be prone to that, and that her sister has the same body type as me, and was prone to hemoraging and so they figured that with her she has to have an IV before the birth and to get on her back as soon as the placenta comes out. So I guess next time I have a baby we'll have to plan for that. But honestly, I'm not ready to think about the next time yet.After I was a bit more stable they put her on my chest and let her nurse a bit and then Jake cut the cord while she was still laying on me. She had been attatched to the placenta so long that the cord was white. Once again it was nice that the midwife didn't think it was a big deal to wait for that. I prefer them to wait for the cord to stop pumping before they cut it, but I had to request that at the hospital with Lilly, and I remember feeling like they wanted to do it right away. It's just so refreshing not to feel rushed.

I ended up with a pitocin drip like last time but they kept it really low, about half of what the hospital would have done it at. They also would occasionally massage my fundus which was actually a huge relief this time as opposed to the nurse at the hospital who started pounding her fists into my guts without any warning when I asked if I had to have pitocin.

One nice thing about this time is that I'm not sore at all. I mean, down there, ya know? When the midwife was checking me for tears she was all apoligizing and I was like, "For what?" not only did I not tear but I totally am not sore. If I wasn't so weak and tired and all I almost wouldn't think I'd had a baby. I'm not sure if that is because Kate is a bit smaller than Lilly was or if I really was just better about pushing her out slowly.

These pictures were taken at around 8 AM on December 5, 2009. Kate is only a few hours old. Her eyes look shiny here because they'd just put that stuff on them . . . Yep, the same stuff they put in babies eyes at the hospital.

Anyway, Kate has stayed healthy and pink with only the very slightest tinge of yellow in her eyes a few days after birth. No jaundice other than that, her skin has stayed nice and rosy.

The only real problem with my recovery has been my neck. I totally threw it out and did some damage to the muscles or something when I was in the polar bear position for so long. I guess I did it wrong or something, plus it was hard not to turn my head to talk to Jake. It was dumb and I should have been more perceptive since I realized at the time that it was uncomfortable on my neck, but I was more concerned about getting my baby to turn. Anyway, on Sunday family started to come over to visit and we propped me up on pillows to I could talk to people but the weight of my head on my neck was just too much. My pain was so severe I couldn't even focus hardly and talking to people was a huge effort so finally I told Jake that I needed to lie flat. I had to lie flat for a few days actually. Then I started going to my chiropractor last week. I've been twice now and she wants me there again tomorrow and Monday, the only thing is, she's in Jordan Landing which is kind of a ways to drive. Oh, well. Hopefuly she really can help me feel like a normal person again soon.

Anyway, as far as Kate is concerned everything is lovely. She is now two weeks old and filling out nicely. She already has sweet chubby cheeks and is getting those cute folds in her arms and legs and a double chin. I'm way excited to have another chunky baby. :}

Here's a video Jake took of her on December 7, 2009: Kate at two days old.

Oh yeah, another huge blessing I should mention is that Lilly slept through the whole thing, and apparently the neighbors didn't hear it either. That is a relief to me because that was one worry about having a home birth that I kind of had in the back of my head was, "Our poor neighbors!" especially because she ended up coming at 4 in the morning, but yeah, no one even knew she had come so that was awesome.

Pregnant with Blessings

2009-12-03T15:59:00.000-08:00

So I was going through some old institute and seminary notes in this folder I found the other day and I found a copy of the story about the bouquet of thorns. I'm sure most of you have heard/read it. I think the first time I got it was in an e-mail forward . . . Anyway, I read it again today and cried, of course, and it really made me think about how blessed I am. I mean, life hasn't been super easy lately, but really it could have been so much worse.

Yes, I totally missed out on Thanksgiving festivities when my two and a half year old, Lilly came down with the croup two days before. It was crazy, and I was disappointment that I missed seeing my sister who was visiting from Arizona. . . Sigh . . .

Still, I'm just so relieved that Lilly recovered and that even though I got sick from her (of course) that is wasn't as bad as it could have been, and we're almost all better now. Talk about crazy timing though.

I was planning to get cute pregnant pictures done that weekend as well; with my sister, who's also pregnant, but because of Lilly getting sick, obviously that didn't happen . . . Everything got put on the back burner.

Then last night I was thinking to myself, "I really wish I could have gotten some cute pictures taken of my belly before the baby comes."

I'm 38 weeks and 3 days today so I don't really have a lot of time left. (or at least, I might not.) So yeah, I suddenly had this urge to get some pictures taken.

So I called Jake and begged him to see if maybe we could try and do it anyway.
We couldn't go to a studio like we'd planned for Thanksgiving weekend, but we did the best we could. Jake is really a cinematographer and I'm the photographer in our family, but after some direction from me I think he did a pretty good job. Plus, my new curtains made a pretty good backdrop even though I had been hoping for a classic black or white backdrop.

Obviously I'm not wearing a maternity shirt, but I wanted to be in all black and this was the only plain black shirt I had.
Everyone keeps commenting on how funny it is that carry my babies so much out front.
I agree I think it's pretty funny looking, I look almost the same as when not pregnant except for this huge bump in the front, but I'm not going to complain, at least you can tell I'm pregnant.

Anyway, I feel like I am so lucky and blessed and even though life throws me some fast ones I just feel like I need to say how Thankful I am to be me, and to have what I have and who I have in my life.
Which includes all you great people on here who take the time to read my blabbing and give comments. Thanks everyone!

P.s. I edited the photos for your enjoyment. Stretch marks are just TMI in my opinion. :}

Lilly's New Hobby

2009-11-28T22:11:00.000-08:00

The day that I packed all the Halloween stuff away, I made the mistake of letting Lilly know where I was keeping the boxes. I was letting her play with and try on things as I was putting stuff away, then I told her it was time to say goodbye to Halloween and I packed it all up into her closet. A few days later, on November 5 to be precise I was in my room sorting through some papers and Lilly was in her room playing. I wasn't at all worried because I could hear her and it's only when things are completely quiet that a parent ought to wonder what their child is up to.
At one point she came out into the hall with a bag of gift bows that had been on the top shelf of her closet. I could see her from the doorway of my room, she dumped out the bows and looked at them talking about how pretty they were, then she very nicely (without my asking) put them all back in the bag and went down the hall toward the front room. I figured the bag had fallen off the shelf so I went to put them away, but when I walked into her room, I was greeted with this spectacle.Not only had she disemboweled two of the Halloween boxes, but she had pulled down every shirt and dress--nay, every hanger from the rod.
Except one.

This was only the first (and worst) time that Lilly tried this. The next time, I caught her at it, standing on the tupperware drawers in her closet, pulling all the clothes down. Let me tell you, being pregnant, I do not enjoy all the bending and stooping that picking up all of her clothes off the floor entails; so when I found her in the closet, instead of putting her on time out, I made her stay in the closet and help me hang up the clothes. Not that I had to stoop any less, but I was hoping that by helping me, maybe she would see what work it was to hang all of them up and realize why I didn't want her to do it again. Of course, I was wrong. She thought it was a game. The next time I caught her doing it, she immediately wanted to help me clean, but I realized that would be encouraging the behavior so I went back to time-out. Which really hasn't been working lately. Ever since she learned to climb down from the stool by herself, she hasn't taken us seriously and so, instead of ignoring her while she's on time out like we're supposed to, we've been constantly telling her to get back on the stool.

Anyway, after about 5-7 occasions of finding the closet in this state I think she's finally caught on, but it's taken a lot of time and rethinking. I recently did a lot of research on disciplining and realized that one of my biggest mistakes was using time-out as a punishment for every misbehavior. The reason this doesn't work is that time-out is supposed to be an opportunity to let a child cool down before they act out in anger or through a tantrum. Makes sense right? The thing is, Lilly doesn't throw tantrums (much.) She is usually being sneaky when she does something that she knows she's not supposed to, though she will sometimes get upset if she's caught and prevented from further action; (like when she climbs on the furniture to get a forbidden item on the shelves for example.) most of the time she's not upset or remorseful at all. A lot of the time she actually thinks it's funny or a game or something, like the closet thing.

I realize that she's been having a really hard time with me being so pregnant because I just don't have the energy to give her the kind of attention I used to. I usually will not pick her up or hold her unless I'm sitting down first, and even then, she can barely sit on my lap so she'll have to sit on one leg or the other. I can't rough-house anymore; and I've also been pretty crazy-busy nesting and getting the house and other things ready for the baby and for Christmas. I know this has been really frustrating for Lilly and I feel like I've been a terrible Mother. All of this sudden misbehavior has been her means of getting my attention because she wasn't getting it while behaving.

Anyway, I just thought I'd share this lesson I learned so that maybe some of you can avoid making the same mistake. Especially with the time-out thing. I tried withholding her favorite shows for a while both because I needed a new punishment (and also because I feel like she watches to many of them) but that didn't really work either because if she climbed into the closet first thing in the morning and then didn't get shows for the rest of the day I think it was too abstract for her to make the connection between the misbehavior and the punishment. Although going a few days without shows was probably good in other ways because I ended up spending a lot more time with her, helping her find other ways to entertain herself . . . toys and coloring books and such.

In the end though, Jake is the one who figured out the best solution. The weekend before last he was home and he started using shows as a reward. If Lilly picked up her blocks she got one show, if she ate all of her lunch and didn't make a mess she got another show, etc. This focusing on the good behaviors instead of the "don'ts" has really seemed to work. My husband is so smart! Ever since he started doing things this way (and I joined in of course) I have not caught Lilly in her closet or climbing the furniture at all!!! It used to happen as much as five times a day before and I was feeling like a failure as a parent and felt like Lilly would never learn. Now I realize that even the few minutes we take to find a positive task for Lilly to do like picking up something, even that little bit of attention seems to go a long way, and it still cuts back the show time so she's not constantly in front of the TV. I'm so proud of Jake!

Halloween

2009-11-28T22:06:00.000-08:00

I know this is extremely late, but here are some pictures from Halloween.
Me as Rose Petal

Our Family
Lilly as Strawberry Shortcake

Family Zoo Visit

2009-11-28T16:50:00.001-08:00

Back in October my husband's family organized a big family zoo visit. It was fun to go in the fall when it wasn't so hot. I actually remembered to take pictures for once too, so here a few of the best ones.Lilly on the elephant statue's trunk. . . Daddy and Grandpa are cheering her on.
We got to see the baby elephant. It sure was cute. Right as I got close it went and played on this big ball.
I love how happy the mama looks in this picture.
Here's Lilly riding the rhino statue.
It was good to be there with family who were willing to hold Lilly up. Not only so I could take pictures, but also because holding Lilly has become quite a task for me and my baby belly. Here, Lilly and Grandma admire the zebras.
And here's the classic drinking fountain.
We also got to see the baby giraffe. Pretty cute. It was a nice day, I'm glad we got to go.

The Creation Plan and More on Baby's Name

2009-10-05T21:34:00.000-07:00

Sorry to post a third time in a row tonight, but there are some things I've been meaning to post but had forgotten earlier. At least this way things are a bit more broken up rather than having another ridiculously long post like I'm so famous for. (or infamous.)

Aside from all the other books I posted in my Book Review, I forgot to mention that somewhere during the time I was reading those I also read a great little book called The Creation Plan A Seven Day Approach to Guilt Free Homemaking by Betty Meyers. (I guess I forgot to mention it earlier because it took less than a day to read and is such a different type of book from the others I'd been reading.)

It's about planning housekeeping based on the seven day creation story. Anyway, I haven't gotten the plan down perfectly yet, but it has helped me to be a lot more organized and motivated since I read it.

For example Monday is the day that unorganized matter is organized.

Tuesday is the dividing of the waters from the land, so laundry, mending, ironing, stuff like that.

Wednesday is dividing of the light from the darkness, so that is gaining truth and knowledge, and it includes anything from personal study and reflection to preparing a lesson for Sunday (if that is your calling,) or visiting/home teaching AND also writing letters and other desk work. So yeah . . . It's a good time to remember to write to my little brother on his Mission.

Thursdays are supposed to be the beautifying of the earth days, so that means gardening and decorating the home.

Friday was when the animals were created and since animals throughout time have provided food, clothing and transportation, then Friday is the shopping and running errands day.

Saturday can be a catch up day but because that was when people were created it's supposed to be a day about YOU. Family and friends and relationships as well. I love that. If only I could get on the plan well enough to make Saturday a day only about spending time with my hubby and family and friends and having a bit of time for myself. That would be awesome.

Sunday of course is a day of rest and worship. Pretty sweet plan though huh?

Despite my newly found motivation to do things, however, I'm finding that my energy levels are dropping again and I'm having a hard time physically keeping up with my ambitions.

It hit Jake and I last night, that we only have about two more months left, and then the baby will be here. Crazy. That went by really fast. Way faster than last time, I think. I guess because I'm busier now than I was last time I was pregnant. Plus, this year has been so eventful, my mind has been on other things a lot.

Anyway, I think we finally have figured out the name. We really like Kate, but we don't want to do Katherine because we don't want her to go by Kathy, so we're thinking about Katelynn. That way she can go by Kate or Lynn. Kate would be kind of after the heroine of my favorite book. And I guess Lynn could be after Jake's Mom, Carolyn, or his (or my) Aunt Linda or my cousin Megan Lynn Ballard Lingard.

Also, last night I realized that Katelynn Amanda sounds kind of nice, (Amanda was one of my best friend's growing up.) and then her initials would be K.A.T. And she could go by Kat if she wanted, or Kitty I guess, if she wanted to. Lilly and Kitty sound like cute pet names together.

So yeah . . . Things have been going pretty well. . . I finally got my visiting teaching done this past month which is the first time in a while. It helps a lot that they paired me up with Sister Hill whom I also co-teach primary with. It makes it a lot easier because I actually see her on Sundays. Being in primary has made in hard in the past because with other companions, I rarely saw them, so we never thought of planning to do our visiting teaching.

It's been nice, I met a sister named Kayleen Feil (pronounced 'File') in the ward who I'd seen before but had never talked to, she plays the piano in primary. Anyway, we visit teach her now, and it's so cool because she and I have tons in common! She's a really talented photographer and has been working on a studio in her basement. We met with her the week that I started trying to do The Creation Plan thing, and so I told her about it and she was way excited and went and found the book on Amazon. We're planning to have dinner together sometime so we can talk about the book and also so Jake and I can help her get her studio lights set up the way she wants. She has a little girl Lilly's age too, so I'm thinking we need to have some play dates.

Costumes, Conference, and a Concert

2009-10-05T19:44:00.001-07:00

I've actually taken a bit of a break in my reading lately, in order to focus more on Halloween costumes.

Fabric has proven to be very expensive and so taking a leaf out of my Halloween book last year I once again hunted for materials in places like the D.I. and Savers. It was otherwise impossible to find red material with red dots like strawberry shortcake wears. Fabric stores don't carry such material. I looked and looked and the only thing I could find was these pajama pants from Savers. So for $2.99 I managed to have just enough material for a dress for my toddler. Nice, thick material too, I might add. I wasn't aspiring to anything this shiny, but the more I look at it, the more I like it and find it entirely appropriate for a strawberry dress. The wrong side of the fabric has a sort of flannel type texture and the dots look darker rather than lighter. I could have used that side, since the dots are a darker red on the characters dress, but I really like the shiny-ness and I think it will be warmer if I have the fuzzier side on the inside. Plus, most of the costumes I've seen haven't even bothered with the red on red dots at all.

I also managed to find a nice blue v-neck sweater for Jake's costume and a black shirt to go underneath, though, if the two layers prove to be too hot I might have to dissect the collar from the black undershirt so Jake can wear it independent of the rest.

As for my costume, after a rigorous search I managed to scrounge up a nice retro looking salmon pink dress that will accommodate my baby bump and a couple of other shades of pink in the form of frilly nightgowns all three of which I intend to morph together as well as I can in replication of Rose Petal's dress, though there are actually two different styles to choose from. I'll have to figure out which I'm going to replicate.

Yesterday during conference I finished embellishing Jake's Spock Sweater with silver banded cuffs and silver insignia badge thing. I started cutting Lillian's Strawberry Shortcake dress on Friday and finished cutting it out on Saturday during conference. Then, late Saturday night I started the sewing. On Sunday I took a break from her costume, since it has proven to be a bit more stressful for me, and as I just stated, spent the time working on Jake's much easier one.

I haven't started on mine yet, but I'll think about how I'm going to do it as I'm falling asleep at night sometimes. Hopefully my plans will work out well. I figured it would be easy when I first decided on Rose Petal, but that was before I considered how to construct a giant rose hat. Being pregnant and tired I was totally willing to take the easy way out and just buy a giant fake rose and make it work, but I haven't been able to find one large enough.
For some reason people seem to think that fake roses are to be crafted in true to life sizes, don't ask me why. I personally think it would be cool if some innovative person thought of making oversized ones that people could use in more contemporary decorating, or at least as props for plays like Alice in Wonderland. :} As it is, I am forced to figure out how to be innovative myself and craft my own giant rose.

Conference weekend was really good . . . Though I ate entirely too much food on Sunday. Jacob's grandparents always host a big soup potluck on Conference Sunday, and there is always an abundance of soups and desserts to tempt one. This year was no exception. Though I must say, of all the cookies I tried, most of them were rather disappointing. I hate it when a cookie looks so tempting and then you eat it and it's just not nearly as good as it looked. I guess that's why I tried so many, I kept hoping one of them would be worth it. In the end I had to give up before I made myself sick. Jake's parents made Ukrainian Red Borsh though, and it was very, very good. I had two bowls of that with lots of sour cream. Yummy. Even Jake was impressed with it and that's hard to do because Ukraine is where he went on his mission.

Anyway, aside from feeding myself physically, Conference was very spiritually filling as well. I managed not to fall asleep during any of the talks (it helped I was working on costumes most of the time) but I rather of wish I had taken notes while listening, because I know there were so many things in the talks that felt pertinent to me in my life right now, but now looking back I can't remember any of the specifics. You'd think I would have taken a hint from the talk on revelation Saturday morning, but of course I didn't get the hint until it was too late. *sigh* Oh, well. Anyway, I think Bednar's on Saturday and Holland's on Sunday stood out to me the most, and I'm excited to read them when they come out in the Ensign.

Last night after bringing up again how much I would really like to go, Jacob was a darling and bought us tickets to the Ingrid Michaelson concert! I'm way excited about this! I'm not necessarily a huge fan, but I've loved her song "The Way I Am" since it came out last year and I really like her voice even if though I don't favor newer songs I've heard as much as that one. I'm still really excited to hear more of her work, and to go on a real date. Jake and I have never been to a concert like this together. The last (and only) time that I've been to a concert by a popular singing group was in high school when my Daddy loved me and my sister enough to buy us tickets to see "They Might Be Giants". Which was okay, but we were in the nose bleed section of Kingsbury Hall and so didn't feel very connected as an audience to the performers. This concert will supposedly be more intimate. In fact, I may be crowded past endurance by people, but hopefully it will still be worth it. Anyway, I'm way excited to just be doing something like this with Jake. Now I just need to find a baby-sitter.

Another Book Review

2009-10-05T18:20:00.000-07:00

Last time I posted about books I mentioned reading some by Gail Carson Levine and also reading Northanger Abby . . . Since then my reading choices have been similar in genre for the most part. The list of reads since that last post about books are as follows:

1. Ever -Gail Carson Levine Which was interesting, but left me feeling that my overall impression is that it was kind of an odd story.

2. The Fairy's Return and Other Princess Tales -Gail Carson Levine. Very entertaining.

Then we finally got this one (Going from #200 something to #1 on the library waiting list.)
3. Fablehaven Secrets of the Dragon Sanctuary -Brandon Mull. I enjoyed it and wasn't as shaken by the sudden twist at the end as some people might have been. (I wasn't really rooting for that character anyways.) The down fall is I now have to wait forever for the next book to come out!

4.Rude Awakenings of a Jane Austen Addict -Laurie Viera Rigler. I'd heard of this one from this lovely blog and was curious to read it. It was good. I was entertained throughout, though it was a bit different than I expected. Overall though, I don't think I love it. It was good though. Apparently this author wrote another book first, called Confessions of a Jane Austen Addict. I'll need to look that one up as well, since I gather it is from the other character's point of view.

I had been talking to one of my sisters-in-law, Bronwynn, about Jane Austen books and their many spin-offs and so being the sweetheart that she is, the next time I saw her, she handed me a whole pile of books that she thought I would enjoy. All of them by fellow Janeites. (She used to work at a book store so she has a huge collection of books and has been more privy to current publications than I'll ever hope to be.) The first one I read from this pile was one by an Author I've been dying to read . . .

5. Austenland -Shannon Hale. I have to say, I LOVED this book! It was so hilarious and romantic in the way I enjoy romance. I'm sure my husband thought I was silly with all the giggling and squealing that went on while I read it, but it was fun. I haven't read something that made me vocalize like that in a long time. Ooo, I hope that doesn't sound bad. . . It was all very innocent amusment. That is why I think I liked it so much. Rude Awakenings was funny and romantic but just felt a bit too worldly for me. This one was much more to my taste. Anyway, I'm excited to read more of this author, I think The Actor and The Housewife will be next.

6. The Good Master -Kate Seredy. Since I had already borrowed this from my Mom before Bronwynn bestowed her riches on me, I decided I'd better read it before proceeding any further with the Austenian pile. My mother had read this to us as children and I remember enjoying, but maybe it is more for children because I must admit, reading it through on my own this time, it wasn't quite as entertaining as I had remembered.

7. The Singing Tree -Kate Seredy. This is the Sequel to the previous book, and while it was good I still felt about the same after reading it as the previous book. It was good, but not as good as I remembered.

8. An Assembly Such as This (Fitzwilliam Darcy Gentleman) -Pamela Aidan. Back to Janite books! This book was highly diverting and enjoyable! So much so, that the next two in the series are waiting for me at the library this moment! I'm so excited!

Halloween Costume Ideas

2009-09-21T14:46:00.000-07:00

I'm way excited for Halloween to come. I've been thinking that we could all be characters from 80's cartoons this year. We're planning for Lilly to be Strawberry Shortcake since she likes her so much right now.
I have the first episode of the original on DVD. Not a nice DVD mind you, just a recorded one from the VHS tape I grew up with, so yeah, the quality is not the greatest.
I only have it because for my advertising class back in college, we had to make an ad for Strawberry Shortcake Bubble Bath and this was research. I had my hubby put it on a DVD so that my group and I could watch it. It didn't take us long to decide to stick with the modern version of the character. Lilly, however, adores this one episode like no other and sings the songs and asks to watch it all the time. One of these days I'm going to take her to my Mom's so she can watch other episodes. I'm also wondering if I need to make a point of finding out exactly when the new show airs.
Anyways . . . I think my little girl will make a very cute Strawberry Shortcake, and after being a Puppy and an Ewok for the past two Halloweens I'm thinking it's time for something girly.
(Even though she likes to quote The Big Bad Wolf from the Three Little Pigs, I think if I let her be that, people will start wondering if I wish she were a boy. Honestly, she just really likes a lot of things that boys like, Aka. Rockets, Robots, Dinosaurs, etc . . .)
So yes, something pink and girly will be fun for a change. The only thing to do now is figure out whether I'm gonna go with the harder, retro version or the easier, modern version. (Actually there are two modern versions, one with a dress and longer hair and the other one with jeans and a rather 90's hat.)

In the end after doing a lot of research I'm thinking that almost anything I come up with will probably be fine as long as I stick to some basic things, like red hair color and strawberry themed clothing. I've seen a lot of other outfits for this character, so I think it's safe to take some artistic license. I just wish they didn't all have hats. Hat's make it very hard. Unless you want them to look cheap and phony like this one.

I'm planning on being Rose Petal from Rose Petal Place because that would make a good maternity costume I think.
Although, once again I'm facing a hat problem. Hopefully I can come up with something better looking than this.I mean, don't get me wrong, I admire the effort and everything . . . And if you look through her other pics she really did get the technical aspects of the costume down, but I guess I'm a total costume snob because to me, the question is, "Does the final product look good?" and my answer is "Not really." I'm terrible I know. But hey, I make mistakes too. There's a reason why my mermaid costume is not listed on my costume website, because it didn't pass that question either. Yeah, I know . . . somebody's been in the water WAAAAY too long! (Wrinkly.)

It's taken longer to figure out what Jake could be. We joked about He-Man, but that wouldn't really work unless he wants to wear a full suit of fake muscles, which I know he doesn't. I'm pretty sure he'd get arrested otherwise because all He-Man wears is a speedo and a chest harness thing.

We considered Ned Flanders from the Simpsons, and we mildly considered Jeff from Today's Special, but neither of them seemed quite cool enough, or fun, or recognizable. Though Ned might have been an easy costume to do.

Finally, the other day, as I was going through the Savers website to see if they had any of the things I needed for Lilly's and my costume and I noticed that they had Spock ears. Perfect!

When I first met Jake I used to tease him about being a Trekkie, and the Mr. Spock original costume is actually much like a black turtleneck with a blue sweater over the top and silver on the cuffs and of course the badge. Jake even agreed that we could spray his hair black, since he doesn't like wigs. I think this could be cool.
In fact, apparently in the very very first pilot episode, they actually were wearing sweaters!See?

Also, when I suggested it all to him he informed me that there used to be a star trek animated series way back a long time ago, which I had no idea about. As my little brother would say, "Uh-bwaaaaaaaaaa?????" He, he . . . Sorry, when I found this pic, while researching I thought it was kind of funny and couldn't resist posting it. Too bad I don't have the current waistline to be the blond bombshell on Spock's lap for Halloween. Sorry Jake, maybe next year. (Not.)

At least me not knowing about the animated version proves that I myself am far from being a Trekkie though I did enjoy the new movie this Summer.

I learned something else new today . . . apparently the animated series is coming out on DVD, now the question is, do I let Jake know this tidbit of info or do I "forget" to mention it? He, he . . . I mean the show first aired in the 1970's . . . have any of you ever seen a cartoon from that era? *coughcoughcampychough* I think it only lasted a year too, that ought to tell you something.
But yeah, even though it is actually older than the 80's cartoons Lilly and I will be representing, I guess it will still work to have a retro cartoon character theme. Right?

Just Peachy!

2009-09-20T23:17:00.000-07:00

A week ago we had a big Birthday dinner at my parents house for my sister, my neice and my sister-in-law, Megan. Since my seester Heather has moved to Arizona, I got to make one of the cakes which was a rare privilege I usually don't get to have! I was way excited. (Though I did miss you terribly Heather, don't get me wrong. It was really weird not to have you there.)

I got to do Megan's cake and since she really likes peaches, I came up with an idea of how to implement that ingredient with something delectable I discovered this year. Jake's Dad usually makes the birthday cakes on their side of the family and they're usually really amazing. For one of the parties we went to a few months ago there was this one cake, I think it was a carrot cake and while it had regular icing on the outside, on the inside, the two cake layers were glued together with something so yummy I had to find out what it was. My Father-in-law told me it was cheesecake filling, and was made by Jello. I was really surprised because I had no idea there was such a thing out there. Anyway, I went to my grocery store and looked around and found a few things I'd never noticed before in the cheesecake category. You can buy these dry mixes to make cheesecake that come in a box with the mix for the graham crackers crust and even a packet of the topping if you want. Anyway, since I didn't need the crust or topping for this, so I went with a tub of Philadelphia brand ready to eat cheesecake filling. It comes in a tub rather like whipped topping, and was next to the cream cheese in my grocery store. Holy cow is this stuff good!

Anyway, for the cake I used a golden butter cake mix that I thought sounded good, and then instead of adding the water in the regular directions I measured out the juice from a can of peaches and also blended in a chunk of peach for good measure. Then I baked the cake in three round layers, each one progressively smaller. (I could have done two layers but I decided as long as I was being eccentric I might as well find one more layer to add the cheesecake filling into. Anyway, after the cake was layered with the filling I frosted the whole cake with the rest. Then when we cut it to serve I had a bowl of chunky peach sauce that people could pour over the top if they wished.

It was pretty dang good if I do say so myself, though maybe not as aesthetically pleasing as the peach cake Heather made for Megan a couple of years ago.

Heather, you should totally put some of your awesome culinary creations on your blog!

I meant to take a picture of my own peach cake, but I didn't get around to it. *Shrugs* oh, well. It was really more about the flavor than the look anyway.

My Life is so Novel

2009-08-05T15:53:00.000-07:00

Okay so maybe I just feel like I'm living in a novel because I've been reading so many lately.

I finished Moby Dick a couple weeks ago, as I might have mentioned, and since then have read four other books, and I'm not planning to stop there.

While I was reading Moby Dick I would take breaks from it to save my sanity and so I simultaneously read the first three Fablehaven books as well as Persuasion and Mansfield Park. I also read a discipline book that I got for free in the mail from our insurance when they found out I was pregnant. It was a really good book, called 123 Magic. Then I also read The Candy Shop War and let me see, I know there was another random book . . . Oh yes! Charlie and The Chocolate Factory. All of these were first time reads, so I'm pretty proud of myself for adding to my "Have Read" list because about a year ago I realized that list really wasn't as long as I'd thought it was since I'd been doing a lot of re-reading.

Anyway, since finishing Moby Dick I indulged in the one book I wouldn't let myself touch until I finished. (I had to motivate myself to finish somehow.) I had received Freckles for my Birthday back in February so yeah, it had been five months sitting on my shelf, waiting for Moby Dick to be finished. It is the prequel story to The Girl of the Limberlost which I really loved, so I was excited to read it. Anyway, it was a lovely book and made me cry.

Then I realized I could use my Library card for more than Veggie Tales Videos for my daughter and for more than books by Brandon Mull for my hubby and me so I looked at my old "Want to Read" list and selected Northanger Abby as well as Ella Enchanted and Fairest.

I read Northanger in about three days and finishing on Monday, and then Tuesday morning, yesterday, I Picked up Ella Enchanted and finished it in about six hours. I started Fairest last night and finished it this afternoon. I liked them both. I'm not sure, now that it is over that Fairest is as good as Ella Enchanted. As you can see I could hardly put the former down once I had started reading, of course it is also a slightly shorter book. Maybe it's because the Snow White story is still just not one of my favorite fairy tales. But I liked her version of it better than any other version I've read. She is really a genius. It's funny though, I used to kind of like the movie Ella Enchanted, but now that I've read the book I think I hate it. The movie is just so insipid compared to the book, and I don't see why they changed the story so much. Other than to make it feel more "Disney" I guess, but when has being more "Disney" ever been a good thing? Not that I hate all Disneys, but please don't expect me to say that they are known for their accuracy when it comes to original stories, or even (Heaven forbid) history! *coughpocahontascough* . . .

Anyway . . . Blah blah . . . The thing is, I don't think that my reading novels is what has made my life like a novel. I mean, of course, what I read cannot change the world around me, but I feel it certainly has changed my perspective on what is going on around me. Regardless of any of that though; life has been almost too eventful lately, and not just in the old "July-is-as-insane-a-month-as-December" way. Honestly, we didn't have as many reunions and the like to attend to as past July's have had . . . But life has had much more serious events in store for us lately.

I've mentioned some of them in my past posts. My Dad and my sister going into unexpected surgeries is only the tip of the iceberg though. I mean, honestly, it's a really big tip. Okay, maybe they are the iceberg, but there's some tip left that has just recently revealed itself.

Last time I posted, Saturday the 25th, that evening was the only family reunion we attended in July. And it was a small nice quiet one. My Dad and sister were both there and were nearly fully recovered.

The following week, we learned that on Sunday, the 26th, a close friend of ours had lost his father. It wasn't unexpected or anything, he had been sick for a long time and was 71, but it was still really sad. We attended the funeral on Friday and it was a lovely, heart wrenching funeral. I cried twice though I didn't know our friend's dad all that well. (Of course we could argue that I'm pregnant and prone to tears, but I think I still would have cried.)

Anyway we were away from home almost the whole day and it felt like a Saturday, so when I lay down to go to sleep that night I was relieved to remember that we still had a Saturday ahead of us and that we didn't have any plans so the whole day would be ours.

The next morning we got ready for the day and Jake started getting excited about shooting something, as he usually does when we have a free Saturday ahead of us. I know he's really wanted to for a while and it's sad because it rarely happens that he can work on his own projects at all, something usually comes up, so all of his most recent work has been work related video stuff.

Anyway, we got an idea of what we could shoot and talked about it all morning and finally Jake decided it would be good to go buy some filters that he wanted for his camera, and since it was his Birthday money that he had to spend and not grocery money I was all about letting him spend it, so we left to go do that. Before we had arrived though, Jake got a call from a friend of ours who needed help moving all of a sudden. Her husband had basically kicked her out and she had decided it definitely was time to leave. He was away for the day and she wanted to be gone before he got home so we told her we'd come as soon as we could. When we got there we found that she really didn't have anywhere to go so we racked our brains until we thought of someone who might be able to let her stay until she could find an apartment. Luckily we found somewhere for her and then we invited her to spend the rest of the evening with us and have dinner at Jake's parents since they were having a BBQ. So yeah, our Saturday was gone, and I must admit part of me was pretty disappointed but it was good to be able to help a friend out.

The next day, Sunday, Jake and I both had to teach even though we'd been hoping to go with our friend to church where she was staying. After church however, we were able to go meet up with her and take her around to some of the institute buildings to look for apartments. Then I called my Mom and discovered that my parents were having a picnic and that I had been invited a few days ago, but as I'd not been home all weekend I'd not checked my e-mail. I was so glad I'd called in time to find out. Anyway we invited our friend to come with us and I think she had a really good time. She got along with my family pretty well I thought, especially my sister who is also a single mom. Anyway, I was glad to be able to introduce them, since I thought they might get along.

Just as I was finishing up Northanger Abby on Monday a the lady who I team teach the six year olds with in Sunday school dropped by unexpectedly with a gift for my baby. Since this is my second and I'm having another girl I really wasn't expecting any gifts. She had knitted a sweet jacket and hat for my baby. I was so surprised and touched that she would think of me. I think she and I are really becoming great friends. Anyway, it was at that point that I went back to my novel to finish and realized how very much like a novel my life has felt lately. With all the surprising twists and turns that life takes and even with little unexpected blessings, I just feel like life is so full and eventful, but maybe I just feel that way when I'm in novel mode. Who knows.

Now it is Wednesday and just as things have begun to feel comfortable again I learn that my Dad is back in the hospital for complications. Will the drama never end?

It's a Girl!

2009-07-25T09:30:00.000-07:00

So we finally got to have my ultrasound on Thursday . . .

I'm pretty excited and maybe even a bit relieved that it's a girl, just because I already kind of know how to deal with girls I think, and of course we already have all the clothes we'll need. The only real concern at this point is what we're going to name her. If it were a boy we'd already have a name since we've had a boy's name since I was pregnant with Lillian.

I really love Jake, but he can be so exasperating sometimes. Every time I offer ideas for a girl's name he starts making up silly names that no sane person would ever name their child. Some examples include:
Dougan Peril Thorup
Lionidis Epic Thorup
James Fertile Thorup
Todd Creep Thorup
Frank Lost Thorup
Andrew Freak Thourp
Ethan The Crusher Thorup

Never mind the fact that these are all boys names, aside from being horrendous.

I suggested Mercy and he immediately came back with, "Hmm, Mercy Sandwich Thorup. Sounds nice." Can you believe he's making jokes about naming our kid Sandwich? Anyway, I know he's just being a punk, but it can be so frustrating. He says he doesn't want to be tied down to anything, but I'm not asking for an absolute commitment. I just need help narrowing down ideas, and I'm not about to get set on a name all on my own and then have him veto it. That's what happened last time.

I've always liked the name Evelynn. Or at least I have for quite a few years previous to my marriage. But Jake vetoed that because of some girl in high school or Jr. high or something. So finally we came up with Lillian as the only girl's name that Jake and I could both agree on.

Girl's names really shouldn't be this hard! Anyway, I think that's the main reason we were kind of hoping for a boy is so that we could use our favorite boy's name and have more time to think about a girl's name, maybe even get him to agree to Evelynn eventually. Hee hee. . .

Anyway, I'm just ranting here. It's really not as big a deal as I might be making it sound, I know we still have time. I just expected him to be really opinionated like he was last time about girl's names, but instead he just makes jokes or says, "That's not bad." or "That's better than the last one." When he temporarily tries to be serious . . . But he'll say that about every name, so I really have no way of narrowing it down.

What a Week . . . No, What a Year it's Been!

2009-07-21T14:50:00.000-07:00

Because this post is so long, I have broken it up into sections in the hopes of making it a bit easier to read.

Sunday:
I finally got a chance to visit my dad on Sunday afternoon. He seemed to be doing pretty well . . . Very tired, but alert enough that we could converse with him normally and everything. He's mostly just bored and asked us if we could get him some books to read. We've been recommending Fablehaven by Brandon Mull to him recently anyway because he loved Harry Potter, but I'm not sure how easy it will be to get him a copy of any of those books since we're in Bountiful and have been getting them from our local library. My dad is still in Provo, which makes the transfer of reading material a bit troublesome.
So, if any of you relatives happen to own a copy, I know he would really appreciate borrowing it. Then we wouldn't have to worry about him finishing by the time it's due and then getting it back to a library on the other side of the valley.

On the subject of reading, my sister-in-law Megan and I had the idea, a little while ago, to do a family book club. We have family dinners on my Dad's side of the family every month anyway, and tend to like the same types of books, so I suggested reading the same one over a month and then discussing it at our next family dinner. I'm not sure anyone but my brother Bill and his wife Megan will be participating, besides my husband and myself, but even if it's just the four of us, I think it will be really fun. I've always wanted to be in a book club.

We're actually chosen to read The Candy Shop War this time, which is also by Brandon Mull, so maybe that would be a better one to loan to my Dad so he can be in the discussion at our next dinner as well. I'm sure he would like that.

Also, on Sunday my sister who is closest to me in age had to have an emergency appendectomy. We found out just before we went in to see my Dad, but my Mom didn't want us to tell him yet because she didn't want him to worry. Bill and Megan came a little while after us to visit my Dad too. They had brought their daughter Sandy, but she is only a year old and wasn't allowed into the ICU so Jake and I watched her for them in the waiting room while they visited my Dad. Sandy is really cute, and so smart. She prefers to scoot on her bum rather than crawl and it's so fun to watch her get around she is incredibly fast!

After we left the hospital we went to my in-laws to celebrate Jake's birthday as well as the birthdays of two of my sisters-in-law. It was fun, and I probably ate too much cake, but it was good. Jake's Dad is just like a big kid and his current toy obsession has been marbles which my daughter Lilly is loving because she's always loved balls of any sort anyway, and I know she thinks that smaller heavier ones are the best. Dad has been really nice about letting her have some of them. Anyway, He'd been telling us the various places he's been finding marbles and how much they cost for weeks now so it's kind of been in the back of my mind. The other day at Smiths I'd noticed some bags of marbles hanging on one of those plastic things they put in the aisles that just have random stuff from other sections of the store, and as I walked past I noticed the price was $1.99 . . . I seemed to remember that my father-in-law had been telling me that he'd been buying small bags for $2.99 so the next time I saw him I passed on the news to check Smiths. Anyway, on Sunday he told me he had checked but couldn't find any . . . I realize now that it probably wasn't a Smiths Marketplace, and mine is, so that's probably why he couldn't find any. Anyway, before we left on Sunday night he handed me some cash and asked me to pick up a couple of bags of marbles for him at my Smiths.

Monday:
Anyway, that was Sunday. Yesterday, (Monday) I realized I needed to go grocery shopping anyway so I decided there was no time like the present to go buy some things and also get his marbles for him. Lilly was pretty excited to go shopping, but as soon as we passed through the light toward the store parking lot she said, "No, I don't want to go this way." I told her she would have fun, and I'd let her play at the playland while I shopped. She then started saying, "Sorry, honey . . . It's closed." I realized that the last time we'd promised her that we had gone in the evening when the playland turned out to be closed and she was suddenly reliving the memory. She is so smart! It's scary how much of what I say she will remember and repeat! Anyway, I assured her that since it was morning that they surely would be open.

We headed into the store and I allowed her to help me push the cart over to the playland but as soon as we got there I noticed a 'closed' sign. I checked the hours open and it said it would open at 10:00AM I checked my phone and it was already five after so we stood around and waited uncertainly. I hated to tell her that it was closed again, especially since I had just promised that it wouldn't be. I kept looking around for someone who worked there to notice me waiting for them to open when finally I saw a lady running toward us looking harried and wearing a Smiths uniform. She apologized and unlocked the door for Lilly who went right in and started playing with the toys. I was pretty relieved, and tried not to make her feel too bad, since we'd only waited a few minutes and I know how it is to be running late. Anyway, we got our bracelets and everything and I took off shopping.

Shopping:
It was so nice to be able to take my time, (I had an hour) and not have to worry about Lilly getting bored or wanting anything. Especially since I decided to head to the toy section first, in search of marbles. I found some that are pretty nice. I think my father-in-law will be really pleased, especially about this cool shooter that I found in one of the bags, and also the fact that they are bags of 50 instead of 25 and cost a dollar less.

Anyway, I finished shopping, checked out and picked up Lilly who had apparently pulled off her bracelet in my absence. We deduced that she thought it was a band aid because she kept saying "ouchie" and pointing to it. I'm guessing she also had been saying band aid but I doubt anyone but me would understand what she was saying since her word for band aid sounds a lot more like "Bib-bib." It's one of the only inarticulate words she says.

Home:
Anyway, we went home and as I let her out of the car we noticed that her little neighbor friend Josh was outside and she went right to him. My husband had been telling me just a day or two before that I ought to let Lilly play outside more. I reminded him that I would love to if I could trust her not to run off, but I don't have the energy to chase her all the time and she thinks running out into to parking lot is funny and rarely stays in the yard. Jake assured me that Josh was smart and wouldn't lead her out into the parking lot, and that he had let them play while I was at enrichment last week and Lilly had stayed by Josh's side the whole time. Anyway, all of this had been marinating in my brain since Wednesday, so when I saw them outside together I told Lilly she was welcome to play outside with Josh while I unloaded groceries, but that they needed to stay in the yard. They both said okay and were pretty good during my first few trips. There was a squirrel in the tree in front of my front window and they were having fun watching it scamper around through the branches. When I had only one load left I noticed Lilly and Josh heading to the back yard, which is also fenced in. I followed them and reminded them to stay in the yard, meaning that they were not to go into the parking lot on the other side. Then I hurried over to unload the last load of groceries because I had left the back hatch open.

Where is Lilly?:
When I came back outside I couldn't hear any children, so I headed straight around back to see if they were still back there. I went all the way to the other parking lot and circled around but still didn't see them. I began to really worry. I had seen a glimpse of Josh's Mom in the other parking lot just before I went into my house with my last load and had assumed she was out there with them, but when I saw no one I decided Lilly must have gone to Josh's. I went there and knocked on the door, Michelle, his mom came to the door but said that Lilly wasn't there. She had assumed I was close by and so when Josh got stung by a wasp she took him inside. They tried to get Lilly to follow them, but she wouldn't. Still, like she said, Michelle had assumed I was near by and that Maybe that's why Lilly wouldn't come. I knew better of course. Lilly has always tried to escape to the play ground down the street any time she's been in the other parking lot. Michelle went with me there first. The swings are Lilly's favorite, but I couldn't see her down that way when we looked, and we began to wonder if she'd headed in the other direction because sometimes Jake and I have taken her on walks that way. So we headed back to check while Michelle called her brother and sister-in-law who were at her house and asked to them check around the condos again while we went the other way. At one point we met some construction workers who were tearing up the sidewalk. They said they hadn't seen a little girl so we headed back to the condos and began talking about me calling the local police. I dialed it once but forgot to put the area code first so it didn't go through. We met one of Michelle's nieces who said they were still looking. Michelle's brother called and said they were checking the park again. Michelle told him to make sure and check the swings.

My phone was just redialing the local police number, this time with the area code, when one of Michelle's nieces yelled. "He found her!" I hung up and we ran to the other parking lot again and there, down toward the entrance I saw my baby. My little two year old daughter walking hand in hand with a police officer and a lady in workout clothes. Apparently she had been down at the park the whole time, trying to get someone to help her swing on the swings, then she tried to cross the main road heading west and this lady at the park had stopped her and called the cops figuring out that her parents must not be near by. Of course I have so many regrets at this point. I don't know how I missed her. Why didn't I look around the park more thoroughly?

An Awkward Meeting:
I tried to pick Lilly up when we met half way down the length of the parking lot, but she pushed past me saying, "This way." And then kept saying, "I need a drink." I couldn't get her to come to me, she seemed set on going straight home for a drink, which is understandable since it was about 95 degrees outside. Anyway, the cop asked my name, but then realized he didn't have a pen, but he just kind of shrugged like it didn't really matter. It was all very awkward really, I wanted to cry but Lilly wouldn't even let me hold her. Finally when she was almost out of the parking lot I managed to pick her up and asked her to thank the nice man and the lady. I also thanked them, and then we headed back to the yard and toward home. Michelle and her family walked with us part of the way stopping at Michelle's house, and I thanked them and said goodbye.

Home:
Finally we got inside and I started to get Lilly a drink. I broke down before I could even get it poured. Of course Lilly asked me what was wrong and I hugged her and told her how worried I was, and begged her not to run away. I tried to impress on her how important it is that she stay with Josh when she is playing outside with him, and she should never run off by herself. She said okay, but I'm not sure how much she really grasped. She stopped asking me what was wrong though when I went in my room and cried. It really could not be helped. I had been walking around for at least 20 minutes or so in 90+ degree whether, already tired from grocery shopping and 19 weeks pregnant, and worried that my child would get hit by a car or kidnapped or something. Afraid that I might not ever see her again and fearing that it was entirely my fault. I should have followed her and Josh into the back yard, even if I had left the hatch back open on the van. I had a feeling as I went to get the last load that I should go with them, but I figured they'd be fine. And when I saw Michelle in the other parking lot on my way back from the van I felt like my impression was totally unfounded. *Sigh* Anyway . . . what's done is done. All I can do is try to do better next time and thank The Lord that I found her again. The relief that my whispered prayers were answered was another reason for me to cry. I was just so relieved and grateful that God had watched over her just as I had prayed he would. I'm so glad for that angel of a lady at the park who kept her from crossing the busy street and called the police, and the police officer who helped to bring her home. It's too bad it was all so awkward when I met them there with my daughter because I really didn't get a chance to express how grateful I really was to have my baby back!

Monday Night:
Anyway, when Jake came home he was pretty grumpy, but we spent the evening cleaning out the van and the outside closet and by the time we went to bed, he felt better. Cleaning usually helps him when he upset, so I'm glad we did it even though by the time I dropped into bed I felt like I'd been beaten to a pulp. Aside from all the things I already mentioned, I'd also done dishes and laundry and made dinner yesterday. Possibly part of a new found conviction to be a good mom and wife. Though, some of those things I did before I went to the store.

Anyway, I learned today that My sister's surgery went well. She's also pregnant which makes an appendectomy kind of scary, but the doctor said it was the perfect time for it to happen during a pregnancy because being in her second trimester the fetus is well developed and the chance of birth defects aren't there like during the first trimester, and yet being small still made it easy for the doctors to work around the uterus. They did a fetal monitoring after the surgery was over and everything is fine. What a relief! She was able to leave the hospital last night.

My dad was also able to leave the ICU and go to a normal hospital room last night. Apparently he slept well last night and is doing a lot better today, though just as bored and wanting a laptop or a book to help keep him occupied.

In Conclusion:
Phew! Anyway, it's been a crazy past few days . . . This whole year has been crazy with so many deaths and emergencies happening, not to mention the general depression that the country and the world are under lately. I'm so grateful that we have Christ to lean on in these hard times. I can't thank him enough for giving me a second chance to raise my little girl. It was really scary to think that I might have lost that opportunity yesterday.

Perspective

2009-07-14T22:24:00.000-07:00

So my father is in surgery right now. . . As we speak. He had chest pains earlier today while on a camping trip. They managed to get in to a Hospital in Provo to check things out . . . For most of the day we didn't know anything, just that it wasn't a heart attack but that he was in a lot of pain despite the morphine. Finally, a few hours ago they found out that he has/had a split aorta. The doctor said if they didn't do surgery right away he would not live another 48 hours. Scary.

I don't think it hit me till later. I was on the phone off and on all day talking to my Mom and my sister and my husband, spreading info and such. I prayed with Lilly twice throughout the day. First when I first learned he was in the hospital and then again after they discovered the problem and were prepping him for surgery. I don't think Lilly liked it too much that I was asking her to pray with me a bit more than usual, but she's pretty good and though she's not particularly reverent, she usually folds her arms at least by the end of the pray if not through most of it, and usually says 'amen' with me.

Jake and I have been reading scriptures with her every night before bed, and it only took about 3 nights of that before she was reminding us and actually asking for us to read scriptures. I guess because she likes/needs routine in her life. She really doesn't understand any of what we read and is often talking and playing through most of it. But I think she gets a good feeling or something. She must sense that it's important because she'll sometimes ask for it during the day too. She also has sat on my lap at times while I'm reading aloud and tried to repeat everything after me as I say it. It's really cute.

Anyway, tangent, sorry. So Jake isn't home yet. He (conveniently) had a meeting in Provo tonight anyway so he's now been to visit my dad in the hospital twice one before and after his meeting was over. He just left there about half an hour ago and is finally on his way home to us.

I put Lilly to bed around 9pm and I read scriptures with her. It was while I was reading aloud (and honestly not paying much attention to what I was reading) that it really began to hit me what would happen or what it would be like if I lost my dad. Okay, I'm tearing up again just writing about it.
Lilly was too busy playing to notice my choked up voice as I read, but when it came time to say prayers she didn't want to fold her arms. I just started to pray aloud anyway, but I couldn't keep from full out crying as I ask Father in Heaven to let my dad recover if it be His will. It was really hard to pray for that. Anyway, Lilly, who had been sitting in my lap facing away from me turned around and kept asking me what was wrong during the prayer, but I finished of course before I answered her. Then I explained to her (again) that Grandpa was hurt and that I was worried about him. It was so cute because she took her favorite silky blanky and kept wiping away my tears as I talked to her.

I'm not sure how much she understood of what I said, but it was sweet of her to try and comfort me. It's so amazing to see her go from an oblivious self centered two year old to a thoughtful and concerned angel. You should have seen how cute she looked with her furrowed eyebrows.

She was really good about going to bed for me after that. It was like she was trying to help me. So sweet.

Anyway, it's just crazy. I kept thinking; while I was reading and praying, about all the things that I've been worrying about lately, like our financial situation, or my many projects that I'm wanting to finish, and about the new baby and all the things that need to happen before it comes . . . and it's just sad and crazy how trivial all those worries now seem when I think about how important my dad is to me, and how I really don't want to lose him yet.

I guess it's silly, but it just seems so important right now that he live to see my baby, but I realize that God can't always wait to take people home just because they have a relative who is pregnant.

I realize that being pregnant is probably making me more dramatic that I ought to be. After all, they were inspired to go to a nice big hospital that deals with hearts surgeries all the time even though a smaller hospital was closer. Plus, they found the problem and it's being taken care of. I need to have faith that all these things are proof of the Lord's hand in it, and that everything will work out just fine. But of course there's still the worry that the surgery won't go well. I'll try not to think about it though.

Jake is finally home. I made chocolate pudding earlier (I guess I'm in need of comfort food?) and we're sharing it now. My dad is now almost 3 hours in to his 5 hour surgery. I realize it's probably too late for anyone to read this before that's over. But I'd appreciate all your prayers just the same.

Thank you.

~Julie

So Funny . . . HEE HEE

2009-07-09T10:53:00.000-07:00

I'll never get over or cute it is when my daughter says, "I need some crackers . . . I so honkry!"

It's all my fault that hungry is one of her new favorite words I guess. I told her about a month ago after about the 15th story book that I absolutely could not read another because there is a baby in my tummy and me and the baby were very hungry and needed to get something to eat.

Now whenever I touch my tummy in her presence or say anything about the baby she'll ask, "You honkry Mom?"

I have to say that it's even harder to take care of myself now that I'm already a mom than it was the first time I got pregnant. I used to be really good about drinking my water last time. I have a 20 oz cup that I would keep next to me while I was working from home for Top Line Creations, and I would drink it while I worked and as soon as it was empty I would make myself get up and refill it. As long as I had at least four of those a day I was having enough water. But for some reason, it's a lot harder to do that now. Largely because if Lilly sees a drink of water she decides that it's hers so I find myself putting it up and out of her reach which ultimately means out of my reach too, at least while I'm sitting and working. *sigh* I'll keep trying though . . .

It's funny, whenever Lilly wants anything she will ask for it excitedly ending the request with a giggle that literally sounds like "Hee hee" while she clasps or claps her hands and bounces up and down. It's really cute and funny, but for the longest time I had no idea where she got the "hee hee" from, assuming it was just a natural part of her personality.

However, last night I was asking Jake if he would help me do something and apparently I ended my request with a "hee hee." I honestly do not recall this, but he immediately accused me of doing so and claimed that it must be because of me that Lilly does it. I don't see how this could be though, because even if I did do that while asking for something from Jake, I don't make requests to Lilly in the same manner, so I must have gotten it from her; from hearing such requests all day, every day.

I can't imagine that I would ever say, "Lilly, finish your milk, please. Hee hee." because my tone when making such a request is far from giggly and excited. I know I write "he he" in my blogging and chatting often enough, but that is just to represent the actual chuckling that is going on while I'm writing. I promise, I normally don't laugh like that.

Speaking of how funny Lilly is, I've already shared the following stories with most of my family but I decided I'd better write them down here too so I don't forget them.

On Sunday at Church Lilly was standing on our bench talking to a sister who was sitting behind us. She pointed out that the sister was wearing a flowery dress by saying “Flowers on your shirt!” The sister agreed and pointed out that Lilly also had flowers on her dress. Lilly kept talking to her but was getting rather loud so at one point I said, “Lilly, Shhh.” She turned back to the sister and said in a matter of fact way. “Mama's shushing.” I had the hardest time not laughing. I didn't know she even knew the word for shushing!

Also after church we were leaving and passed Jake's counselor Dan Naylor in the foyer. Lilly said 'hi' to Dan and he came up and quickly said “Can I take you home with me?” Jake handed her over and we said goodbye knowing of course it was a joke. Dan proceeded down a hallway with her, but Lilly didn't say a word so Jake went back and began to take her back while Dan said, "Maybe another time." Lilly gave him the dirtiest look, as if to say, “What? You lied? You're not taking me home with you?” Jake and Dan chuckled and as we walked away Jake said, “Dan, your a bad man.” But then Lilly immediately started repeating him saying, “You're a bad man!” Two or three times as we left the foyer, and then as we passed through the cultural hall she looked at me over Jake's shoulder and said, “You're a bad man, Mom!” I was already laughing and Jake added. “But she's a great woman!” It was really funny, but as I said to Jake, just more proof he needs to be careful what he says around her.

In Need of Comfort?

2009-07-06T10:30:00.001-07:00

Come check out this great new blog! Share your own uplifting experiences and stories.

Let's Make a Deal

2009-07-01T09:35:00.000-07:00

Let's Make a Deal

I just have to share!

2009-06-30T14:01:00.000-07:00

I've been in doubt for about a week now, as to whether or not I've felt my baby. When you have a lot of bubbles rumbling around inside it can be hard to discern the feeling, even for a second time mom! But today, while checking my e-mail I distinctly felt the baby! I am so happy! Now that I've had lunch the movements are starting up again! It's such a wonderful feeling to know my little one is a alive and well and kicking the tight spot where my waistband presses on my belly. What a cutie! It makes me want to undo a button or two, but then I'm worried the kicks will stop! What an odd paradox motherhood can be!

My Daughter Cracks Me Up

2009-06-23T17:40:00.000-07:00

This is just a short post about my two year old.

Today she wanted me to read her this DK book that has lots of pictures and vocabulary words for each one.
On the 'Things That Go' page, I remembered that last time we read it, she surprised me by knowing all of the names of the vehicles, even helicopter and digger.
So today when I was reading it, instead of telling her what the digger was, I pointed to it and asked, "What's this?" She thought for only a split second and then said, "Piglet."

I was confused for a moment and said, "No, digger." And then I burst into laughter, realizing that she thought the name of the digger was actually "Tigger", but then she got it confused with "Piglet", another of the Winnie the Pooh characters. Poor kid. She's probably so confused as to why that machine is also called a "Tigger." I couldn't help laughing though, it was so funny. Then of course, I tried to help her hear the difference between the d in 'digger' and the t in 'Tigger'. I don't think she got it, but I'm not worried. She's pretty advanced for a two year old anyway.

Promised Report of Paradise Day 2

2009-06-18T14:47:00.000-07:00

Okay, so Monday the 25 of May, we woke up, showered and packed and met Rudy in the lobby. Then we headed out to where out car was parked. They had it in this crazy high-rise garage with a sort of elevator that the parking dude would drive the cars onto to bring them to the ground floor. It was interesting to watch. Apparently they have a lot of parking lots like that in New York. Makes sense.

Anyway, once we got our car we headed out to the other side of the island, Laie. This is where the Polynesian Culteral Center is located as well at the Hawaiian Temple. Also, Laie is where Moana (one of the lead singers of The Jets) lives.

It was a lovely drive, especially once we made it through the tunnel to the other side of the mountains. They really have lovely, epic, green mountains there.
On the way we also saw, Chinaman's Hat, which is a tiny little island of the coast.
Finally we reached our hotel which turned out to be right next door to the Polynesian Cultural Center. It wasn't amazing, but it wasn't nasty either, though I think 'Motel', would be more appropriate. After unloading our stuff into our room, we headed to the suburbs to meet Aaron, a man who had helped get the Jet's going. We went with him and his wife to Hukilau Beach and did an interview. I got to hold the boom mic. Yay.
After that we went to Moana's house and met her and ended up headed back to Hukilau to shoot some B-roll of her and her family playing and singing on the beach.
We got some awesome footage of Moana and her husband Jr. singing on the beach. The audio was gorgeous! Moana has an awesome voice and with the guitar and the waves accompanying her and with the awesome mic we had, the audio turned out to be like chocolate for your ears.

Her little boy, Noah, is one of the most adorable babies I've ever seen in my life! I was glad to already be pregnant at this point because if I hadn't been I would have been even more baby hungry. I wish I'd gotten a photo of his gorgeous smile. He's going to be a lady killer someday. After that Jr. had to go to work. We met him down there, at the Polynesian Cultural Center, he got us in for free and one of the first things we saw was the banquet theater all set up for the evening's luau.
For those who don't know (I didn't) The PCC is where they shot the movie Blue Hawaii with Elvis. This is the very river he floated down while singing at the end, and these are the curving palms he floated under.
The Day show at the PCC takes place do on the river. It features a boat with each of the Polynesian groups and they do their traditional dances right on the boat. It's pretty awesome. This is Samoa.
In the evening Jr. got us into a Luau for dinner. It was really cool. Before we went in, we each got a free lei, and then we got to pose for a picture with this guy.
We got to sit in the same huge theater that I showed earlier.
And there was a live band playing the whole time.
Rudy took this picture of us while we waited for the banquet to start.
Here is Rudy Wolfgramm, the guy who hired Jake and who was the original Drummer for The Jets, as well as a manager at one point.

For those who are interested, he also managed the Aqua Bats when they first got going.
Rudy treated us to a Passion fruit/Mango smoothie.

Here they are pulling the pig out of the pit.

Promised Report of Paradise Day 1

2009-05-22T15:06:00.000-07:00

Most of my trip is covered in my facebook albums, so for those of you who've seen those already, you might not care to read so much extra blah blah, and after this post there will be some repeated info and pictures so I apologize for the redundancy. I actually didn't cover my first day on Facebook though, so if you really want to know how that went you are welcome to read on. It is long though, so be warned. Otherwise I can just say . . .

In short my report is this:
Hawaii was amazing! We loved it! We want to live there now!
The long of is it this:

I left for L.A. at about 3:00 PM on Saturday, April 23. I arrived in L.A. 3 hours later but because of the time change I sort of went back in time and it wasn't quite 5:00 PM there time when I landed. How weird is that? So then I had a while to wait before my next flight at 6:45. I might as well tell you all know, (who don't already know.) that I am pregnant again. Therefore, I became rather hungry while waiting in the airport. I planned to buy myself dinner while there since I had some time to wait, but paying $10.00 for a small slice of pizza seemed indecent to me so I decided to wait until I got on the plain. After all, the man on the intercom kept saying that they would be serving delicious gourmet food on my flight. Heh, heh, I don't know why i believed him. How could I possibly forget that airplane food is never good let alone gourmet?

Needless to say when I got on the plane and looked at the menu nothing appealed to me. I need meat in my diet, those of you who know me know that I must have my meat. There was only one item on the menu that contained meat, but that was a smoked turkey sandwich and pregnant women aren't supposed to eat artificial smoke flavoring. So yeah, not to mention that the smoke turkey was about the most recognizable thing on the sandwich, all the other ingredients seemed rather bizarre. Why do people make strange combinations of food and think that because it's not normal than it must be gourmet? I'm not a picky eater, but being pregnant and away from home the last thing I want to try is something that might make me puke, especially on an airplane! Why don't they consider that? Don't they want to make money? *rant*rant* Anyway, due to the lack of appetizing items on the menu, and also the fact that my money got put up in an overhead compartment before I thought about it, and I was in the window seat and didn't want to disturb the nice old lady next to me, I finally gave up on the idea of eating. I mean, it was only a 3 hour flight right?

Yes, I can see you all shaking your heads. Once again my pregnant brain forgot about the time change. Going back in time can be cool if you want more time to eat and get on your next flight. But it's torture when you're pregnant hips have been in the same position for 3 hours and you realize that you still have 2 more hours to go! *Gaaaaaaah!*

Luckily I was brave enough to get up and go the the rest room once during the flight, old lady or no. I guess I would have been getting up more than that if I had actually eaten anything besides pringles since 2:00 PM that day. Anyway, I will hopefully be smarter next time and just got for the outrageously priced pizza.

Finally at 12:00 AM our time and 9:00 PM Hawaii time we landed. You have no idea what a relief it was to get off that plane. (Oh, and by the way, the lights of Maui and Oahu shimmering in the darkness just before we landed almost made two of the hours worth it. )

I got off the plane and followed the rest of my flights passengers to the baggage claim praying that they did not lose my luggage. Delta really is good though, I don't think that's every happened to anyone I know when they fly Delta . . . but let me tell you, never fly Continental if you have any layovers because your luggage will invariably get lost for at least a day.

Okay, I'm sounding really grumpy here, but remember I'm tired and hungry and pregnant, and all alone in a new place. :}

Honestly, I wasn't super grouchy the whole time. I enjoyed the lovely outdoor part of the airport that I got to walk through on my way to the baggage claim. They have lovely Asian style gardens there. If I hadn't been so anxious to go to bed I would have stopped and taken pictures.

And the flight was even pretty cool right at first. It's really crazy to try to comprehend how much ocean really lies between Hawaii and the main land. It's one thing to see it on a map, it's something else entirely to see it passing below you. It still would have been boring though if it weren't for the crazy clouds. Right near the end of the day they looked remarkably like snow or icebergs to me. It was pretty cool looking.
When I got to the baggage claim a lot of people were waiting and the luggage didn't come out right away. I kind of hung back for a while just watching for my suitcase because so many people where in the way. But I didn't see it for a while anyway. In the mean time I noticed a soldier kneel down next to me and his little girl ran up and hugged him followed closely by his wife. I almost burst into teas right then. I really missed Jake and Lilly at that moment, though I know my emotions were heightened due to my hunger and exhaustion not to mention my pregnant hormones.

Finally I thought I saw my luggage and pulled it off the carousal only to think to myself. I don't remember that leather tag thing being there. And feeling embarrassed and sure that the true owner of that suitcase was eying me I hastily put it back on the carousal. After a while I wanted to cry again because I didn't see anything else that looked like my suitcase so I finally tried it again and this time I thought to read the name on the baggage claim tag and sure enough the suitcase was mine after all. I can't believe how skittish I can be when tired, hungry and pregnant! Of course, the real lesson here is: take a good look at all sides of your bag before you check it, or do what some smart people do and put a flashy key chain or ribbon on it. I realize now I hadn't used that suitcase since our honeymoon which was almost four years ago.
Anyway, after getting my suitcase I walked out the exit almost expecting to see a bunch of people in cabs offering to drive me anywhere I wanted. Hey, that's how Acapulco was.

But I saw no such thing, there were a few taxis but they already had people loading them up, and there was also a big bus. I stood there for a moment and then went back inside and asked the lady at information how I call a cab since I'd never really done it before. She told me the shuttle would be much cheaper and made it sound like a cab would be ridiculously expensive. I asked her how much each was, and she said the cab would be $25. Which is what I expected, but the shuttle would only be $9. So I decided to do that and have a bit more money for spending later. Especially since she seemed really set on me using the shuttle, which turned out to be the bus that I had seen outside. So I went out and got my luggage loaded and got on the bus. there where a few people on there already and I was worried that it would take me a while to get to my hotel, but as luck would have it Aqua Palms was the first hotel they stopped at.

The nice man at the front checked my reservation, gave me my key and a free water bottle and apple and I headed up to my room. I thought a bit about ordering room service, but I really wasn't sure how to do it. Plus, I to had show them my debit card when I checked in because I don't have a credit card, but I knew that there was no money on it, and they would probably charge it if I added anything to the room charge that Jake had already paid. Anyway, I ate my apple, took a shower (I seriously smelled of airplane.) and went to bed.

The next day was Sunday. I woke up at about 5 AM their time, but it was really more like 8 AM our time. I couldn't sleep anymore but I laid around for a while and listened to the birds singing outside my window. It was nice. Finally my curiosity got the better of me and I got up to look out the window. I couldn't see any birds close up, but right away I noticed a pair of stark white doves chasing each other over the tree tops across the street. It was very lovely to watch.

I had to wait until 7 AM for the continental breakfast to start. I wasn't counting on any meat of course, but I thought I saw on the video display in the lobby the night before a person getting a bagel which excited me in case they had cream cheese. I really was craving something protein. But of course, as luck would have it there was no protein at the continental breakfast, well, except for some nut in the banana nut muffins. What I had thought were bagels were actually croissants. I choose two muffins and a banana and a cup of pineapple juice and went to sit by the pool. Tons of birds crowded around to watch me eat, and I like birds so when I finished my first muffin I brushed the crumbs from the paper as best I could and suddenly the birds were all around me at my feet and swooping past my shoulder and perched on the back of my chair. It was kind of cool, but I bet people thought I was a freak. I'm amazed I didn't get "Feed the Birds" from Mary Poppins stuck in my head at the time, but it actually never occurred to me until I retold the story to someone else. Anyway, I did the same thing with my second muffin paper and then got up and threw my plate away and got another cup of juice. I meandered around the pool a bit but the surrounding area didn't have much of a view, it was mainly some other hotel's pool and parking lot so I went back up to my room.

I tried to get myself to draw after that, while sitting on my balcony, but all I could get out were these useless sketches. So then I decided to take pictures of my room.

My room was pretty nice, though it was odd that the headboard wasn't centered behind the bed. It was pretty cool looking though.

It was nice to sit on the balcony and enjoy the fresh air and watch the birds, but I really didn't get as much drawing done as I had hoped.

At 12:00 I had to check out so I headed down to the lobby to wait for Jake and Rudy to come find me. They were supposedly staying in the same hotel. After hanging out in the lobby for a while, watching people come and go and sketching more feathers, I began to wonder two things. Why was Jake taking so long and why was that guy who looked like a slightly paunchy Rhys Muldoon checking me out so much? Could he not see I had a ring on my finger?
Well, the answer the the latter will never be known, but I finally got a call from Jake at the lobby desk at which time he informed me that while I was at Aqua Palms, he and Rudy were at Aqua Wave and apparently he was much mistaken to think that they were the same hotel since there are apparently 12 Aqua hotels in the Waikiki area alone. Anyway, he said they were on there way to get me and would be there soon. It wasn't to much longer after that when I finally saw him approaching the hotel door through the window front. I was soooo excited to see him! I forgot to say before that the longer that morning and day wore on, the more I really really wanted to see Jake and was very impatient for him to come at last. Being the cheesy romantic that I am, I had no reservations in attacking him the moment he walked through the door.

Then we got my luggage and went out to the car where Rudy was waiting for us. We headed to our hotel the Aqua Wave and checked in and everything. Then Jake called this guy Zack, who he knew lives in Waikiki and is friends with one of Jake's friends in the film community, Bryce Walker. Zack invited us to come down and meet him and so Jake and I had a nice walk down to his hotel where he and his wife (Elise?) lived. We had a nice visit with them. I have to say they are both really good looking people. apparently she is working as an accountant on the set of Lost and Zack is working with a lot of the local production studios on various things. They're really not that far from Jake and my ages, I think Zack said he was 29, Jake is 26 so yes, very interesting . . . I expected them to be much older. It was really fun to talk with them and after a while they suggested we walk down to the beach while we talk, and they told us about how they came to live there and it was then that Jake and I began to think that maybe it really would be possible, someday to do the same. It seems like it would be a pretty awesome place to live.

After a while they went home and we continued to wander around the strip looking in the shops and trying to decide where we would eat dinner. We finally decided on a burger place that claimed to have big Hawaiian burgers, meaning they had a slice on pineapple on them. The deciding factor for me was actually the fact that they said they had coconut shrimp.

So I got the shrimp and Jake got the burger. It was good, but not amazing, sadly I think Applebees had better coconut shrimp, although I think this place gave me a bigger serving. It was really nice though, we were seated on this upper level adjacent to the open windows, so we had all the benefit of the sea breeze blowing in and the sunset ocean view without having to be right in the glare of the sun or having to smell the car exhaust and smokers passing right by the window.

It was a nice date. We talked about a lot of interesting things and joked and laughed and I made a big fool of myself when I tried to pour the rest of my water from my glass into my water bottle because the ice stuck at the bottom of the glass, then suddenly broke loose and scattered quite noisily all over our table. It sounded like I'd broken a dish and I swear everyone in the place went quiet and looked over at us, but I just laughed. It was a bit embarrassing but mostly just funny.

After that we walked back to the hotel and browsed the flea market near by, where we found some items that we'd seen on the strip for much cheaper. I bought a couple of things but not much at that point as it really was our first day. Then we went back to our room and went to bed ready to wake up extra early and drive with Rudy to the other side of the island, Laie.

Sadly I didn't take many pictures on this day, though we saw a lot of beautiful and interesting subjects; I had decided to leave my camera in the hotel when we walked down to Zack's. I guess it was a mistake, but I repented ever after that and took lots of pictures the rest of the trip.

On my Way to Paradise

2009-04-22T15:48:00.000-07:00

My husband has had an opportunity to shoot a documentary for the next two weeks. It's about an '80's band called The Jets. Not super popular, but they have their fans. Just Youtube them and you might be surprised that at least one of their songs does sound familiar.

Anyway, he's leaving here in a few hours to drive down to Vegas with the Drummer/Manager of the Band, and they'll shoot the first interview tomorrow. Then they're going to LA and shooting some interviews in Hollywood. From there they are flying to Hawaii.

Now I have t0 tell you. When I discovered that my husband was going to Hawaii, and wasn't planning to bring me with him I found out that I can indeed be very jealous. It doesn't happen very often, but when one's spouse leaves to an amazing place without you, and doesn't even talk about bringing you along it can bring out a side of you you may not have seen before.

I didn't do much at first but hint. Whenever he was telling someone about his trip in my presence I would say. "Yeah, and he's going to Hawaii without me!" Anyway, in the end I had to be more blunt. I had to sit down with him and tell him that this was really hard for me, not just because I was jealous, but mainly because it really hurt my feelings that he didn't seem to care that I wasn't coming. Being honest and open really is the only way to go in a relationship. He was really quiet at first and listened well, (as he always does) then he told me he'd thought it wasn't a possibility I'd even want to discuss because money is tight and he'd have to pay for my ticket. Whereas his ticket is being covered by the guy who hired him to shoot the documentary.
Anyway, he said we could probably use some of his pay for the shoot to pay for my ticket, and he talked to the guy who hired him and got it all worked out so that now I can come!

Honestly, I don't think I really expected to be able to go. The effort of trying to make it so I could go, would have been enough for me to save the relationship. I just wanted to know that he cared. Especially because when we got married we had all these big plans about what we'd do when he finally started shooting things for pay and working on his own. Those plans always included me being a part of it, right by his side. So when this happened I felt like just because I'm now a mother or something, that he didn't see me as part of the dream anymore because I need to stay home with the babies. Well, Obviously that was me jumping to conclusions. (Which can be easy to do.) Jacob simply told me when all was said and done that I'm just a lot more adventurous than he realized. He mainly meant with money, but I guess he's realizing that I'm adventurous in other ways since it turns out that we couldn't get the same flight. I'm leaving a few days later and was supposed to meet them in L.A. to fly to Honolulu, but that didn't work out for some dumb reasons that are honestly the fault of the airline booking websites. Anyways. In short, I will be flying out by myself the night before and staying in the hotel where they will later meet me when they get in the next morning. I was going to sit in the airport for 12 hours, but when Jake found out how much it would cost to try to correct the flight problem, he realized that the fees to change a flight would more than cover and taxi and I night in a nice hotel so we figured I might as well do that instead.

I'm pretty excited. This will give me a lot of free time to draw and work on my illustrations. (I hope.)

My parents are being so sweet and watching Lilly for five days so I can have this second honeymoon. I'm so freaking excited! I could barely comprehend it when Jake told me it was a go. He took us to Paradise Bakery for lunch that day which is usually a huge treat, but I must say, I was so excited about going to an actual paradise that the bakery actually paled in comparison.

Of course, it won't be all play. Jacob's counting on me to help him with the shooting, being an extra camera and all. It will be good in so many ways I think. This is will awesome for our experience in the video world and well as in life experience (which will help me with my writing.) and I really believe that it will also be very beneficial to our relationship. Working on projects together is one of the best ways to grow closer. (Which is why, I think, that infidelity can be so common in the workplace.) So yes, I'm so lucky that I can be part of Jacob's work. This is going to be the best year of my life!

Oh, also, I must state that I was completely paranoid about the critique group not contacting me in so long. As it turns out I got an e-mail not long after my last post and went to the critique last week. It was really fun, and inspiring. Also, my old college buddy Brian came, and it was really exciting and awesome to see how his story is coming along since I hadn't seen any of his new work in a very long time.

Sigh . . . So yes. I'm leaving this weekend, and I'll be back next Thursday. While I'll probably have internet access while I'm gone, I doubt I'll have too much time to do much more than check my e-mail . . . so here I go, signing off.

I will return to report on Paradise.

Drawing Out All the Crap

2009-04-02T15:06:00.000-07:00

"Keep away from people who belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great, make you feel that you too can become great."

~Mark Twain

This is my current "Quote of the Day" on here. I really like it, but with the way things have been going I almost need to take this advice and stay away from myself.

I have been kind of on an emotional roller coaster lately . . . One minute I feel excited and motivated to draw, and the next I feel like I'm not an artist and I've just been under some strange delusion all my life, thinking I could ever be an artist.

So yeah, as you can see . . . If I were to take Mark Twain's advice, I would do well to avoid myself.

Part of my problem is of course fear. I've struggled with fear my whole life, off and on and continue to conclude that fear and doubt are inventions of the devil.

Of course, it helps that the scriptures confirm this, when they say
"For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind." 2 Timothy 1:7

This is one of my favorite scriptures, but I find I often have to remind myself of this, and pray that the spirit of fear will be taken away from me.

Anyway, I've finally uploaded the picture of my paralyzing sketches. The ones I mentioned before, the ones that made me afraid to keep trying in case I couldn't do something that good again.

I have continued to draw and practice since then, and I'm not completely appalled by all the results, but nothing else seems quite as good. I've also noticed I have major issue with faces that aren't straight on.
Perhaps this is why I tend to lean toward more portrait type drawings rather than more epic looking scenes. Someone at the critique pointed that out, that I tend to put my subject in the center or near the center of the page.

I know better than that. I know all about good composition and I have no problem applying it to my photography most of the time . . . I really try to compose well anyway, but it does seem, now that I think of it, that I really do tend to make everything seem more like a portrait.

I think I figured out why though. I was looking at some books illustrated by Kinuko Y. Craft Who is my favorite illustrator and the one who first inspired me when I was a little girl to want to illustrate fairy tale books. I've noticed, in perusing her books, that she actually does this a lot. Most of her pictures are portraits, like she's introducing the character. I'm not sure this should excuse me doing it as well, but at least now I know why I tend to do this.

I really just need to take the advice of my friend Brian, who said not to be afraid of the paper and that sometimes we have to get all our crappy drawings out first before we can make something good. I'm sure this is true . . . it applies to writing as well . . . But I'm just having a hard time wanting to draw out more crap.

Looking at these sketches now, I'm once again thinking, maybe they aren't so good . . . Maybe nothing I've ever done is very good.

See what I mean? I'm totally having issues here or something . . . Rant, rant . . . *siiiiiiiggghhhhhh*

Okay. Anyway, I designed a new blog header finally . . . I'm not sure if I like that either, especially because Jake has made comments that tell me he doesn't think it's very good, but he doesn't know what to tell me to improve it. He just keeps saying that I should ask some of my artist peers what they think.

It's like he thinks I should bring it to a critique group night or something, but all I can think is "No one's going to care about my stupid blog header. So bringing it to a critique seems out of the question. It's not an illustration, it shouldn't count as something that needs critiquing . . .
Another fear that has been eating at me is that it's been over a month since the last critique and I've not heard yet when the next one will be . . . I've even written a note to Shawna to ask her and she's not responded. I know it's quite possible that she's just been really busy and doesn't know yet, but I have this dreadful little voice in my head that keeps saying that I probably haven't heard because they don't want me in the group or something. I know! I'm totally being a paranoid drama queen here! So yes. I've just got to make myself draw out all this crap both from my mind and from my pencil and then maybe I'll have something worth showing.
Sorry everyone who reads this. I've just been really on edge lately.
Please forgive all my whining and ranting . . . Pray for me and have a wonderful weekend! :}

Thanks to all My Readers

2009-03-26T13:24:00.000-07:00

I just want to thank everyone who stops by and reads my blog. Especially all the help that some of you offered on finding a cute template. Now all I need is to make some cute headers.

Anyway, thanks again and I hope you all have a great coming weekend!

~Julie :}

Books, reading and more books, and stuff.

2009-03-18T21:03:00.000-07:00

I finally figured out what to spend my Birthday money on. I've been wanting to redo my illustrations and the two that I posted a while ago, I had drawn them clear to the edge of my page, which is really not such a good idea in art, and kind of a no-no . . . I'm not sure what I was thinking when I did that, but then upon examining my redo ideas further, I've realized that I just want to do them bigger then that paper will allow . . . at least with margins . . .

Sooo, I've been coveting a pad of 14X17 Bristol board and have been waiting for a coupon from Utrecht because 20 sheets costs about $12 there and I figure I'll need more than 20 sheets. So I've been waiting and waiting, then, the other day, I get this e-mail from the Oriental Trading company. (I bought toys from there for my Church's Christmas party last year and the year before so they e-mail me stuff all the time.) Anyways, they were advertising this art supply sale. I hadn't really thought of buying art supplies from them ever, so I looked at there site and they had the same exact Bristol board pads for about half the price! Yea!!! So I bought two of those and it was just over $20 with shipping and everything. I'm so excited because that still leaves some B-day money for something else, and I can start really working on my Illustrations as soon as my package arrives! I really love getting packages. :}

I still have drawing to work on before that though. I know that I need to further develop my style, so I've been doing some character sketches for practice and just a couple of them turned out so well that I keep going back and looking at them in wonder.
I know that may sound conceited but it's just that I'm not sure how I did it. Plus, I think I'm almost feeling a bit paralyzed now because this is how I want all my art to look but I'm not sure I can do it again.

Does anyone ever feel like that? Like you're afraid to keep trying because you're afraid you'll never make something so good again? I know it's stupid, but that's kind of how I feel.

Although, on the other hand I am so excited to see that I really CAN do it! I have proof right there in front of me that I'm capable of creating what I want to create!
I guess I'm just having a hard time really believing it.

Anyway, blah, blah . . . I wish we had a scanner still because I'd love to post the sketches here.

Also, I've been thinking really hard about my story and am planning to really overhaul that as well . . . I'm pretty sure I told you about that book I got for Christmas that's been very enlightening . . . well ironically enough, as much as it's helped my writing, I think it has possibly made some of my reading more difficult.

I've been borrowing books from my Mom and Dad a lot within the past few months, Thomasina, Journey to the Center of the Earth, The Hiding Place, Joan of Arc, Treasure Island . . . Anyway, you get the idea. I realized that there are a ton of books like that, “classics” lying around at Mom and Dad's that I had still not yet read.

So what am I reading now? I'm afraid maybe it was pride, but I hope it was more curiosity. I had always assumed that reading Moby Dick is considered a great accomplishment because it's highly intellectual and perhaps has some old fashioned jargon such as Shakespeare or the Bible. I now realize that all the awe associated with finishing that book is because Moby Dick is BORING.

Okay, there are times when it is a bit interesting and entertaining. I guess it's not so much boring as confusing at times and difficult to read because it draaaags . . . You don't even meet Ahab until chapter 25 or something, and you don't see a whale until chapter 48, and even then they don't really see it, it's just under the water and they see it's hump but the harpoon misses and it gets away. I'm only like a quarter of the way through it and I started it a month ago! Plus, Herman Melville breaks all kinds of rules when he writes. How do I know he breaks rules? Because that book I got for Christmas talks about all kinds of things that make a good narrative and all the things that you should not do when writing. Well, Melville must have had the same lists and he got the dos and don't mixed up.

The number one thing is he changes his writing style constantly. Most people know that the first phrase in the book is, “Call me Ishmael” . . . Right? This would imply that the story is told in first person from the perspective of a man called Ishmael . . . Well, apparently this Ishmael is also an omniscient third person narrator because he tells us of scenes which Ishmael, the man, certainly should not have known of; like what Ahab is doing when he's alone in his cabin, and what other people are thinking.

Honestly, I think it is actually just that Melville is so determined to tell certain parts of the story that Ishmael shouldn't know about that he just drops Ishmael every once in a while and tells us the story as himself, as Melville. So yes, it's just really weird and confusing. This is especially apparent in the encyclopedia chapter where he rambles on and on for the first half about why he is writing this book. His number one reason is because up to that point no one had written enough about whales to satisfy his appetite for the subject, so he had to do it himself. He them literally writes out a 3 part encyclopedia (and he really calls it that) about whales and their different species and habits and how valuable there various oils are. Can we say tedious reading?

Anyway, sorry about the rant. On the other hand, Jacob, who has been getting very good about remembering to read his scriptures every morning for the past few months, finally reminded and encouraged me enough that I've become pretty good about it myself. We have seen such a huge difference in our days since doing this. It's been awesome! I even feel like on certain days I'm really being inspired and guided.

For example, last Sunday I'd read the night before and I also read that morning and the whole day was just beautiful, and we went on a walk in the afternoon and we passed this house where a lady in our ward recently moved out. Jake is the elders quorum president so that basically means he's in charge of helping people move; so he'd helped her move out and thought her house was kind of cool. So we stopped and looked in through the windows so I could see some of the cool features of the house. (It's at least a hundred years old, maybe older.) Anyway, we were walking around it and looking in and I suddenly noticed that there was a bird stuck in one of the windows between the glass and the wooden shutters on the inside.

Jake called the man he knew was in charge of selling it or whatever and he gave us the combo to this keypad lock on the back door. So we were able to go in and see the house from the inside. It's really cool and big, but we could never afford to buy it, let a lone fix it up 'cause there are parts of it that really look and feel like the original pioneer rooms . . .

Anyway, so then Jake found an old beach towel in the basement and we opened the shutters and caught the bird with the towel and we let it go outside.

It was just kind of cool because we normally don't go on walks and I just felt like maybe I was inspired to say, "Let's go on a walk." because if we hadn't the bird might have died! Which would have been sad for the bird and also for the people trying to sell a house that smells like dead bird.

Then as we continued our walk Jake thought maybe we should go back home and get this book he'd borrowed from a guy in the ward and try to catch them home and return it.

So we headed back and while I was waiting outside with the stroller while Jake grabbed the book, I noticed that Amy and Evie, who live across the way were home. Evie is Lilly's age. I'm supposed to be Amy's visiting teacher but my companion and I have never caught them home. Jake and I went and visited with them last fall one day, just to be good neighbors and so the girls could play, but during winter we all kind of became reclusive. Also, Amy recently had a baby, and I knew that was part of why she hadn't been home a lot during the winter because she was at her mom's being too tired to do much of anything while she was so pregnant and had a rambunctious toddler to watch.

Anyway, as we walked over to return the book, I mentioned to Jake that when we came back we should try to visit Amy and Daniel and see the new baby and also find out if Amy needed anything.

When we got there they seemed very happy to let us in and visit. Their new baby Joshua is really adorable and he loved Jake. Amy was sweet and let me borrow some Jane Austen books that I haven't read yet. I'm so glad we're neighbors! We talked about how fun it would be to have play dates with the girls and maybe do a BBQ this summer. So it went really well, and I'm so glad I felt impressed to just visit them right then. Aside from wanting to be a good visiting teacher and all, I really would like a friend, especially one who's close. I mean, my friend Rachel is close, but she has been really kind of distant, and she and I are so different in some ways, and also, her daughter Ella is so fragile, I always worry that Lilly with touch her with sticky hands that contain some food she's allergic too. I try to be a good mom and keep Lilly clean of course, but it's hard not to miss spots when Lilly likes to wear her food so much.

In other news, Jake has actually been hired on as the DP (Director of Photography) for two feature films. One of them is shooting this next month and then another almost right after the first one. He's made a lot of friends in the film industry because of his job. They aren't famous yet or anything, but they've recognized Jake's talent and dedication and so he's been collaborating with these guys so together they can all realize their dream of making movies.

The first one he's shooting is actually kind of an LDS thing, but right now they're trying to change the script so it will appeal to a wider audience. Though it will still be a Christian audience. The second one is going to be about a hit man, but if that doesn't work out, we may actually be going on a road trip east, to continue a documentary that Jake and his friend Bryce Walker started shooting called Ancient American Mysteries. I kind of hope that's what happens because he have some friends back east that I would love to visit.

But even if we don't do all that, there's still the two feature films and Jake's pretty excited about those and I'm excited for him because he's actually getting paid and it hopefully will get his foot in the door enough that he can eventually quit his full time job and just make movies. That's what he's hoping anyway. We'll have to see. We've actually been cutting it really close with our finances recently, so I've been kind of looking for work again, though I haven't looked in earnest yet.

We're actually thinking that possibly I could be hired on as the Art Director for one of the films since Jake has been helping them find crew members and they haven't got anyone for that yet. It would be awesome if I got the job because I would be getting paid as well, and I would get to see Jake more and hopefully, if it takes off, we could really both get into the industry together. I think it would be awesome if we could be a husband and wife team. I don't know, maybe that's silly, but I think it would be good for our relationship as well as our work . . . possibly. I mean, we get along so well and never fight and understand each other really well. Like, if Jake can't explain himself clearly enough, I'll usually interpret. :}

Lillian is going to be two in May. Pretty crazy. . . She's definitely becoming a two year old. . . Her favorite response to almost everything now is, “No, I don wannit!” She's still cute, but I'm sad to confess that I think all children reach a certain point were they just aren't as adorable as they were when they were younger. She is now reaching that point. I mean, they're always cute and they say funny things, but it's just not the same, I just don't feel like gushing over older children.

Lillian has also reached another milestone besides favoring the word 'No.' Jacob decided the other night that it is time to convert her crib into a toddler bed. I think it's been 3 nights now, and she's fallen out about twice every night. I feel bad, but I don't know what else to do because I know Jake isn't about to put the bars back up, and I think she would freak if he did, but she also doesn't seem to like her bed as much as she used to. Of course that might be be because her default response to anything is, “No! I don wannit!” So, she might actually like the new bed better and just doesn't understand that when we ask her if she likes it that we're not asking her if she wants to sleep.

Yesterday was eventful. I called Mom and wished her a Happy Birthday and everything. Then I took Lillian to Costco to shop. It was funny because every time I saw someone dressed in green like Lilly and I, I felt a sort of camaraderie with them, though I think we still might have worn the brightest most obvious green in the store.

When I got back with Lillian I told her she could run around while I unloaded groceries as long as she stayed in the yard, but that didn't really work.

Usually I'll put her in the house first and keep the door closed between comings and goings so she can't get out, but it was so nice outside. I chased her through the back yard once and when she reached the other parking lot I was able to convince her to come back with me to the van so I could get more food, and when I asked her if she wanted to help me she said, “Okay.” but when I got to our parking lot she ran off into the yard, which was fine with me, so I went and unloaded more groceries, but as I was bringing them into the house I saw her heading for Amy's door.

I hurried and dropped the groceries in the house and then went back outside to get her. As I came up the steps I saw Amy standing outside her door and she called to me and said, “She's in here!” So I went up to Amy's house and came in for a second and Amy said she'd watch her while I finished unloading groceries. That was nice because it gave me some time to put the frozen things away after everything was in the house. Then I headed back to Amy's and we visited for a bit while Lilly and Evie played. Amy thought it would be a great idea to do a sort of toy exchange, since other kids toys always seem more enticing. She thought we could sort of rotate through borrowing each other's toys so that they seem new to the other kid. I thought it was kind of a good idea, though I worry about Lillian destroying someone else's toy. But before we left to give Lilly a nap, Amy insisted we bring home a little basket with a baby doll and all kinds of accessories that go with her. So far Amy is rendering more service to me than I am to her. Dang it! Now I'm trying to figure out what we can lend to Evie in exchange. It's hard because I don't want to give her something less interesting than the baby doll is to Lilly, but I don't want to give something too nice in case we never get it back. I guess that's Mom's possessiveness coming out in me. I also don't want to give something too big or too messy 'cause I get the feeling Amy would almost like to just get rid of some toys. So I thought about lending this Fisher Price Little People Mini Van with a Mama and Baby. But then I remembered that this toy has a button that causes it to sing and make noises. Some people might find such a toy highly annoying. I guess the best thing would be to just have them come over here and see which toy Evie really likes that I think we could lend.

I also was recently invited to join a book club that some ladies from Church are trying to start. I've always wanted to be in a book club, but at this point in time, what with Moby Dick, and the Scriptures and also Amy's books I just borrowed, I'm feeling like my brain might explode! Plus, I've never heard of this book they're planning for us to read, which means I will need to either buy it or get a library card.

When we moved here I never thought about the fact that one county will not accept cards from another county . . . The thing is, they want more than just my name phone number and license to set it up. I need to bring in a bill or something when I apply for a card so they know I really do live here and get mail at my address. Weird huh? I was actually planning to make a goal and go do it today but upon searching the house I can't find any bills. Everything has been sorted and all envelopes have been tossed. So yes, I'll have to wait till we get more mail before I go. I guess it has to be more than just an ad, they want a bill because they know you will have those sent to your current residence where as you might be getting ads and credit card offers at your parents home still. I think it's a little weird they care so much if I really live here, but whatever, anyway, I'll just have to wait.

Anyway, at least I got a few things done yesterday. Not so much today, mostly I spent the day writing to my younger brother. I really miss him! His birthday is coming up here too, and I had a great idea at one point of something I could send him in a package and now I can't remember anymore what it was. Curse my wavering memory!

Well anyway, enough of the rambling. I hope everyone has a wonderful rest of the week!

Passing Through the Shadow

2009-03-09T11:12:00.001-07:00

I hate to sound dark or depressing or anything . . . But my life has already been touched by death twice this year, and we're only three months in . . .

Those of you who are local to me might have heard about the plane crash on Antelope Island that happened last Tuesday. . . . Well, that was Jake's co-worker in that plane. He had built it with his uncle and would fly it as often as possible to get hours in so he could become a commercial polite.

I wasn't sure I was going to write about this, but it has really affected me this last week and so I feel I must be true to my own memories as well as to his memory and say a few things.

I didn't know Kirk Babbitt extremely well, but from what I did know, I liked him. He was hired the same day as Jake four years ago, and he was a good friend to him. he was also very friendly to me whenever I visited Jake at work, and always had a ready smile and a hello on his lips.

He was a good husband to his lovely wife and we really enjoyed visiting with them at one of the Christmas parties back when we were still new to the company.

He and his wife soon thereafter had two adorable twin girls (now three years old.) Though I haven't see them often, I've always thought they are two of the most adorable children I have ever seen, and not just because there are two of them. Then, just last year Kirk and Angie had an adorable baby boy; whom Jacob told me, before I got to see him myself, that he has the absolutely cutest, widest smile he has ever seen on a baby.

Kirk loved Halloween and decorated his cubicle like a haunted house last year. I thought it was pretty great since I'm a pretty big fan of Halloween as well. When we saw his family on the actual holiday they were all dressed as pirates and their little baby was the cutest tiniest pirate you ever saw. Just learning how to stand; we all laughed at how he reminded us of a tiny drunk pirate on his wobbly legs.

I always thought it would be great to invite Kirk and his family over for dinner some time, but as they lived in Tooele, which is rather far, we never really made much of an effort to actually make it happen. I regret that now, more than anything.

Jacob was asked to do an exculsive interview for channel 2 on tuesday, the night that it happened. It was interesting to have those men come over and tell them what we knew of Kirk and what happened. At that point I hadn't seen anything on the news yet, I had only heard. Even though I had cried a tiny bit, I don't think it had really sunken in yet. After the interview Jake and I stayed up and watched the news until he came on. I thought he did rather well, but after it was all over I cried so hard.

I felt so much sympathy for Angie. Sympathy doesn't even seem the right word, it seems too weak. My heart just ached and cried out for her in her loss. I only have my one baby, and I just can't imagine ever losing Jacob!

Anyway, I felt that there was a shadow over us for the rest of the week.

Jacob was asked to put together a video of pcitures and music in memory of Kirk that was to be played on Friday at the visitation. (Closed casket viewing.)

I helped Jacob find music for it and he was given all the pictures Thursday and got them scanned after work. Then he worked on the video the rest of the evening. I helped a little, but mostly just in advice and the music stuff.

On Friday night we went to the visitation were the video was playing on two different screens in the room. I was about to cry right before we reached Angie, but she was smiling so bravely I couldn't bring myself to cry or even say anything. Everything I wanted to say sounded pointless and un-helpful. Jake said later that he felt the same. That whatever we could say she had probably already heard it a million times. Luckily Jake did come up with something to say. All I can hope is that she felt what I wanted to say in my hug. We hung around for a while but none of Jake's other co-workers showed up while we were there, and I was having a hard time not crying every time I looked at Kirk's children.

Saturday was the funeral. It was probably of the very best funerals I've ever been too. The stories about Kirk were wonderful. I've never laughed and cried so much on one occasion in my life. I won't reccount all the stories specifially because I know I'd mess hem up, but I just have to say the he was a really remarkable man. He had humor and gentleness, he had strong faith and much love for his wife and children. He actually had lived most of his dreams, which most of us cannot say at 37 years of age.

Even though it is hard to understand why God could let this happen to Kirk's family, I think we all left feeling so comforted. Angie was promised more than once that Kirk would be allowed to watch over her and their children and even intervine if needed, though he now is in Heaven. It was just such a beautiful experience, and I feel honored that Jacob and I were able to be there.

As we followed the prosession to the cemetary, I noticed how different all of this felt in comparison to my cousin's funeral a few weeks before . . . On that day it was so rainy and dreary. I felt that the angels were weeping for the loss of one who had chosen to end his life at such a young age. Yet on Saturday, as we drove to see Kirk's final resting place, the sun was bright and strong. The wind was rather biting, but it was still a beautiful day. I felt such a contrast. Even though we don't understand the reasons for this loss, it seems clear that God has called him home. Kirk had lived a full and beautiful life. The comfort of the Holy Spirit was so strong for everyting there I think.

This really has been an eye opening experience for me. While Matthew's passing impressed further on my mind how precsious the gift of life is; Kirk's passing has impressed on both Jaocb and I, how important it is to take the time to be with our friends. We've since resolved to try and have dinner with at least one couple or single friend a month. Because you just never know when someone will be called home. Life is so fragile and it can change forever in a moment.

I hope and pray that all those who have lost a loved one will feel God's love and comfort, and be at peace.

Julie Needs . . . (google game)

2009-03-07T18:31:00.000-08:00

This is just a silly game that my friend Natalie posted on her blog. Her list was really funny . . . Probably better than mine . . .

Apparently there are a bazillion Julie's in the world already who have played this . . . One in particular was my first result and about a hundred other Julie's had gone to her blog and copied her list and then commented. She pretty much doomed to be spammed by Julie's as long as this game circulates, and I realize I'm putting myself in the same kind of danger by posting this, but since I also posted a comment on her blog, I feel I must pay penance for my hypocrisy and try to share the load of Julie's . . . I didn't copy her list like most of them did though, I actually skipped over it at first and came up with my own list, but then I was curious if we still had the same results or not so I went and read hers and then saw all the comments from the other Julie's . . . We'll see if I meet a million Julie's after doing this too . . . Anyway, it will give them a slightly different list they can rip off if they want to. ( I think two or three of our results are the same, but the rest are different.)

Anyway, blah blah, here's the game. My thoughts are in parentheses. ( )

Google your name + needs, (__________ needs) and list the top ten...
So here goes:

1. Julie needs your help! (probably)

2. Julie needs boyfriend (umm . . . no. I have a real man now.)

3. Julie needs a new pair of shoes (Yes! I like that!)

4. Julie needs early start (Yes, but this means an early bed time too)

5. Julie needs a(nother) new home (If only)

6. Julie needs more friends. (Do I? Sure, why not!)

7. Julie needs one more qualification (This was longer but I shortened it . . .)

8. Julie needs a new camera (Actually that's why we returned the Ipod Touch I got for my Brithday, is because it can't take pictures or video and that's what I wanted is something I can take little videos of Lilly with. I'm having a really hard time finding one that can do that and also play mp3s . . . I know they used to exist because Jake had one but it broke. And my friend Trent had one like forever ago . . . Why can I not find something like that NOW????)

9. Julie needs prayers and good vibes (Always)

10. Julie needs coffee (Hmmm . . . I have no response to that.)

Rambling about age and life and such.

2009-03-03T13:00:00.000-08:00

So I had a birthday a bit a go . . . I am now officially a quarter of a century old!
It's crazy though, I think this is the first year in which it really hit me that the older you get the less attached you feel to your age.

I think the last time that I felt attached to my age was when I was 22. This might have to do with the fact that 22 is my favorite number, but regardless, I realized that ever since turning 23, my age has seemed more and more abstract to me.

I mean, when you're 16 you ARE sixteen and it's as much a part of who you are as your name and your eye color and shoe size. But now . . . It's just strange because sometimes I have to try to remember how old I am when people ask me . . . And I don't think it's because I am getting SO old and decrepit that I'm losing my memory. . . . I think it's just that I don't think about my age much anymore . . . I guess it's part of being an adult. When you're young you're always waiting for this age or that age coming up because it means you can do more and be more in the eyes of the world, but now that I've been driving for almost ten years, and I have been a legal adult for a little over 4 years . . . it just seems like there's nothing to look forward to--age wise I mean--so I don't think about it anymore.

Of course I'm excited to be 25 and be happily married and a mother and everything. I look back on my life and I really feel quite satisfied with my past and look forward to my future. It's just that I guess once you're past 25 in this day and society, it's just kind of all down hill from here . . . I mean, not that you're 'over the hill' . . . but really, I've pretty much reached the peak of physical maturity (who knows if I'll ever reach any other maturity summits any time soon. :} ) and so from now on I'm not going to be growing up, I'm only going to be growing older.
Actually I think I hit that peak when I was about 18 or 19 but let's not get too depressing here . . .

Especially because I really am excited about life. I have so many beautiful memories and so many things to look forward to. I still have children to bare, a real true dream home to acquire and other dreams and goals to realize.

Also, after the tragedy that my extended family experienced recently, it's really brought life in to perspective for me I think. I've realized that living every aspect of your life is important. Being a child is an important experience, and being a teenager is important too . . . mainly because being a parent is important, but if you hadn't experienced what your children are going through, you wouldn't know how to be a parent, or be a very understanding one. Also, I really feel like being a grandparent is also very important for our personal growth. And aside from the spiritual, mental and physical importance of all this, I know for a fact that without experiencing life fully, we would miss out on a lot of real happiness and enjoyment. Those who know how important the family unit really is are the happiest people in the world. Those who put family first; these are the people who've really got it figured out.

I am so excited for my future!

Another reason that I'm excited though, is because my sister's best friend from high school, just invited me to join a critique group. She's already a successful children's illustrator, and she's been holding a critique group for other illustrators whom she knows.
I feel so honored and blessed to have the opportunity to be a part of this group. I've already been to one meeting and it was so much fun to see every one's wonderful work, and to be able to both give and receive suggestions. I wasn't sure I'd have anything to advise to some of these amazing artists, but I was able to contribute my two cents in a couple of places that everyone seemed to really agree on and it was exciting and validating.

I also really loved showing people my work because I really needed the kind of honesty and professionalism they offered as well as the kudos for what I am capable of. I really felt quite good about myself after it was over. Especially considering that I was not very happy with my work when I got there and felt sure that it was very amateurish and silly, but no one made me feel that way, and the general reaction when I unveiled my pieces really was encouraging.

I know I can do this. I know I can illustrate, and with these monthly meetings that I'm going to be attending, I also know that I can stay focused and motivated and not let things get pushed onto the back burner too often or for too long. It's almost like being in school again, without the stress. :}

Heavenly Father really knows me. That's all I can think--That He knows me and loves me so much and he started helping me with this dream and goal long before it had even formed in my own mind. He helped my sister to attend high school early so that she could meet Shawna. He helped them become and stay good friends, and He helped me to keep the acquaintance with her so that at some point she would be able to help me and encourage me in the ways that I need.
I just feel so lucky and so blessed. This is a dream coming true. If I can just stick with it. I really can finish my fairy tale and be pleased with the story and illustrations and everything. Even if I never get published. . . I will have finished something that I started over half my life ago and anyway, my children can enjoy it. I am so happy and excited and blessed! I don't even know what to say or how to end this rambling . . . But I am very grateful for my Heavenly Father, for His answering my prayers. I'm grateful for all my wonderful friends and especially for my amazing family. You guys all make life worth living.

Let's Get Creative

2009-02-25T12:57:00.000-08:00

This is another one of those blog tag things. One of my sister-in-law had this on her blog. Here's how it works. The first 3 people to leave a comment on this post will receive a handmade gift or treat from me. What it will be and when it will arrive is a total surprise. The catch is that you must participate as well. Before you leave your comment, write up a play it forward post on your blog to keep the fun going. Then come back, let me know you're going to play and sit back and anticipate the arrival of your gift! Yeah, for homemade things and surprise packages!